Chapter Twenty Eight

A low whistle greeted Rachel when she stepped into the kitchen through the doors that were fast becoming ‘her’ entrance. Jon in dark jeans and a black shirt that hugged him in all the right places grinned, his eyes travelling lustily over her white jeans and close fitting royal blue tank top that showed just a hint of her sun kissed cleavage.

“I guess you approve then huh?”

Smiling she accepted the glass of wine he was offering with a demure kiss to his cheek. Musky cologne and a clean shaven jaw drove her senses into immediate overload.

“Anything that shows your boobs off that well is always gonna be a hit with me – file that information away for future reference please.”

Jon’s arm hugged her close as she moulded her body to him and tipped her chin up to reciprocate the warm kiss he brushed her lips with.

“You look better than any picture I’ve ever seen of you…….” Rachel’s willowy eyes fluttered coyly from beneath her lightly made up eyelids, her voice husky with desire. “…….and there are a LOT of pictures on Google…..”

Chuckling Jon rolled his eyes, “Ohhhh lawd….stop it woman you’re making me blush!”

“I may not let you leave this house…….I might just have to find a new room to get you naked in.”

Daringly she nudged her hips against his crotch, a devilish grin lighting up her face. She was turning into a wanton hussy and it felt great!

The distant thud of rotor blades filtered in to the kitchen from across the river and Jon smiled smugly and winked. “Saved by the chopper little girl!” Throwing back the last of the wine that remained in his glass he set it down on the island and landed a cheeky slap on the cheeks of her ass.

“C’mon princess……your coach awaits!”

Wide eyed with delight, Rachel held on to his hand tightly as they darted across the lawn to the sleek Sikorsky helicopter that touched down on the grass helipad. Laughing she ducked her head, shielding her hair from the strong gusts of wind that the blades were producing as Jon helped her step up into the cabin. Clutching her jacket and purse to her lap, she slid lithely across the cream leather seat, beaming happily when Jon settled himself beside her, his blue eyes sparkling in amusement at her excitement.

“Still want to go back in there and get me naked?”

Motioning to the house that was disappearing beneath them, Jon draped an arm around her shoulders with an innocent smirk.

“Um….maybe we should take a rain check on that for now – but later? You’re all mine!”

With a happy sigh Rachel settled comfortably into his arms and together they looked out over the sights beneath them, the steady throb of the helicopter bringing them ever closer to the towering skyscrapers that jutted from the NYC skyline. In no time at all they were crossing the Hudson river, frothy wakes left behind by various speedboats streaking across the grey surface. Her curiosity piqued Rachel craned her neck to see where they were headed as the aircraft swooped in past the Financial District where her head office was located and landed smoothly on a rooftop that she judged to be roughly between Tribeca and Soho. Jon offered no clues when he helped her exit the chopper and guided them into an elevator that took them to the ground floor, emerging onto a busy Soho street.

“Welcome to Soho baby!”

 “Jon – where are we going??” Frustration and excitement mounting, Rachel took in the scenes around them as he laced his hand in hers and walked them both down the street.

“Shopping! I told you!”

“Shopping for what though?”

“Patience little girl! All will be revealed shortly!”

Although his eyes were hidden behind the aviators perched on his nose, Rachel could still detect the mirth bubbling in them when he tilted his head down and grinned innocently at her. Shaking her head she accepted he wasn’t going to budge and contented herself in gazing in the polished boutique and café windows that lined the several blocks they passed until Jon gently steered her in through a door of a large showroom.

Before she even had time to register where they were, Jon was removing his sunglasses and shaking hands with a petite woman who scurried over to greet them.

“Jon! Great to see you!”

“Hi Colette, thanks for fitting us in!” With a warm smile Jon turned to introduce the dark haired woman to Rachel.

“Rachel this is Colette DuMansun, she’s been my interior designer for the last fifteen or so years and this evening…..” Pausing with raised eyebrows he grinned triumphantly at her. “…she is gonna help us pick out some new bedroom furniture!”

Rachel gaped at him in stunned disbelief before she remembered her manners and politely shook the designer’s hand. Motioning for them to follow her, Colette led them up a large flight of stairs to the upper showroom. With his hand settled in the small of Rachel’s back, Jon dipped his head and murmured in her ear as they ascended.

“I think you’re right……we both have some ghosts lurking and you may well have a valid point about me needing a new bed.”

Rachel turned her head just in time to catch the half-guilty grin and accompanying wink that he flashed as the stairs evened out onto a floor elegantly laid out with staged bedrooms.

“This is the Fall Collection Jon – just in but if there’s nothing that catches your eye I still have much of the Summer Collection in stock, just not on display. Just call if you need me!”

Smiling politely Colette left them to browse through the floor, Rachel still shaking her head in disbelief.

“Jon I didn’t mean for you to redesign for Christ’s sake! A new mattress would have sufficed!”

Nudging her chin upwards with a finger Jon smiled and dropped a soft kiss on her lips. “No more ghost’s baby remember? Now c’mon – I thought you liked shopping!”

Rachel felt her heart melt into a puddle of affection as the softness and sincerity that pooled from his crystal blue eyes flowed directly into her own. Biting her lip to keep back the tears of happiness that threatened to brim she silently nodded and smiled her gratitude before slipping her hand back in his to peruse through the vast collection of bedroom furniture. Together they wandered through the various set ups, stopping here and there to take a closer look at anything that caught their eye.

“You know Jon; I really don’t care what you buy! It is your bedroom after all and…..ooooooh!”

Breaking off mid-sentence Rachel dropped his hand to swivel on her heels wide eyed at a cream antiqued Rococo set with marble topped edges and ornate carvings engrained into the smooth wood that took her breath away. Classical and elegant she could just picture it in Jon’s bedroom, matching dressers and chests completing the vision.

“You like that huh?”

Jon’s breath was warm on the back of her neck as he wrapped his arms around her and stuck the tips of his fingers into the front pockets of her jeans. Leaning her weight against him Rachel sighed contentedly; “It’s beautiful isn’t it?”

“It’d be nicer if you were sprawled naked on it – now that would be beautiful!” His husky voice murmured quietly in her ear, fingers pushing deeper into the pockets that restricted him from going any further. Blushing Rachel wriggled away from his touch, if he kept that up she would end up on the bed there and then, store or no store.

Chortling Jon released her and turned to beckon Colette over from behind the small desk where she was discretely working.

“She likes this Colette….can you show us some fabrics that you have in stock that will work please?”

Together they picked out a selection of cream and honeyed fabrics, along with choosing new drapes for the windows that would pick up on the brocade running through the elegant throws. While Jon went through the paperwork with Colette, Rachel wandered further to the back of the first floor, her fingers running appreciatively over the luxurious materials and polished furniture. What Jon was doing here was huge, so huge that she was having a hard time gathering her thoughts about it all. Six months ago she had been living a life of denial and misery but now….. well now everything was different. Who could have thought?

“And you can have all that done by next weekend?” Wrapping up the finer details with Colette Jon smiled with warm gratitude when the designer confirmed that his wishes would be carried out in time.

“Of course Jon, we can have it done sooner if needs be?”

“No, no thanks. Next weekend is fine. Thanks Colette – I’ll be in touch.”

Lifting his head he scanned the large store for Rachel, finally spying her honeyed hair hovering by some shelves in a corner. As he strode through the maze of furniture he watched her softly caress a small cushion, her fingers tracing the embroidery seemingly lost in thought.

“Hey baby, we good to go?”

Jumping at his voice, Rachel snapped back to reality and placed the cushion back on the shelf, turning to him with a bright smile.

“Ready when you are!”

Jon draped an arm across her shoulder and dropped a quick kiss on the side of her forehead as she turned to exit the store with him. A quick glance over his shoulder afforded him just enough time to make out the swirling letters embroidered on the pillow she had been so absorbed in.

What’s meant to be will always find a way

An easy smile settled across his lips as they walked together back down the stairs and said goodbye to Colette. The old proverb was right – he was full sure of it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Back out on the sidewalk, the late evening sun filtered through the tall buildings either side of them casting shadows along the streets. A relaxed atmosphere hung over the quarter, shoppers and tourists quietly intermingling through the various bars and restaurants.

“Any preference for dinner?”

Rachel shook her head amicably, “Not fussy, whatever you want is good with me!”

“There’s a little Spanish place down here that does a pretty mean paella – sound okay?”

Slipping her hand in his, Rachel smiled up at him. “Sounds great – lead the way.”

Together they wandered hand in hand down the sidewalk, blending into the scenery like any other loved up couple dating on a New York Summer evening until they rounded the corner where the restaurant was. A flurry of activity streaking across the street caught Rachel’s eye at the same time as she felt Jon’s hand stiffen around her own.

“Fuck……….” The quietly muttered curse slipped out from under his breath, a fixed smile curling the edges of his lips when a small, round man with a receding hair line popped up in their path, jostling the crowds out of his way with small nimble backward steps.

“Hey Mr. Jon!! How are you? Okay to get a picture?”

Without waiting for a response, quick as lightning the man with an obscenely large camera lens glued it to his face and began firing off a quick succession of shots.

“Yeah……sure man.”

Without missing a beat, Rachel calmly slipped her hand out of Jon’s and nimbly sidestepped around the man, leaving Jon to resentfully nod and flash a few smiles at the camera while she slipped inside the door of the busy restaurant. Watching her go ahead from behind the shade of his sunglasses, Jon stuck his hands in his pockets and gratified the pap with a few relaxed shots before nodding and firmly making his way past him to follow her in through the door.

“Who’s the pretty lady Jon?” The man’s fading question was silenced by the door swinging shut behind him and Jon blew out a quick breath before he spotted Rachel already seated in a booth at the back of the restaurant thanking a server for the pair of menus she had just been handed.

“You handled that like a pro!”

Slipping into the seat opposite her, Jon pulled his aviators off and laughed when a completely nonplussed Rachel merely shrugged and handed him a menu with an easy smile.

“You’re not my first rock star Jon Bon Jovi!”

Chuckling Jon flipped open the menu, his shoulders shaking with amusement. She was one cool cookie that was for sure. Perusing the menu in an easy silence, they decided on sharing the paella that the small restaurant was known for and placed their order along with a beer and a margarita. When the drinks arrived Jon waited for their server to leave before raising his glass and cocking an eyebrow across the table.

“So…….what shall we drink to?”

Rachel raised her heavy salt rimmed glass to meet his tall Pilsner glass and eyed him steadily. “You do know we have to keep eye contact when we make a toast right? Otherwise its seven long years of bad sex!”

Jon raised his brows in an amused quirk. “You’re really concerned that we’re capable of bad sex?”

Grinning across at him, Rachel shrugged. “Anything is possible……why risk it? And since this is your party you should decide what we drink to……just don’t lose eye contact and it’s all good!”

With his beer glass still raised Jon thought for a moment before smirking and tipping the rim against hers. “Alrighty then…….To dirtying up our new sheets!”

Laughing into his powdery blue eyes, Rachel returned his smirk with one of her own.

“Amen to that! To dirty sheets!”

Settling back in the comfortable leather booth after they had each taken a healthy swallow, Rachel licked the salt from her lips.

“So what have you planned for next week?”

Jon fiddled with the lime quarter that threatened to slip down the beer bottles neck, eventually resigning himself to pouring the rest of the pale lager out into his glass.

“I’ve been meaning to talk to you about that actually………I’m spending a few beach days with the kids at the Hampton house and then the weekend is filled up with various events that I need to go to.” 

Catching Rachel’s interested eye, he shrugged. “Mostly parties under the guise of being charity events.”

When she nodded in understanding he took her hand from across the table, his fingers lying comfortably across her palm. “Dorothea is scheduled to pick them up about noon on Thursday…………I was hoping you’d spend the weekend out there with me……we’ll have some social things to attend but otherwise we’ll be free to laze on the beach………whaddya say?”

Rachel giggled at his innocently childlike and hopeful plea; “Sounds like fun! I’ve got meetings in the City though all day Wednesday and Thursday so I might just have to drive out to you after they wrap –how far is it?”

Jon thought for a moment, his fingers still lazily tracing an imaginary pattern on the back of her hand.

“It’s not that many miles but the traffic will be horrible……” A slight frown creased his handsome features until he worked it out in his head, a triumphant smile replacing the temporary problem.

“Leave the car in Jersey! I’ll send the chopper in to bring you to the City and then when you’re done it’ll be standing by to fly you out….to me!”

Shaking her head at him in amusement, Rachel grinned across the table. “You’ve got it all figured out haven’t you? Well in that case I’ll probably just stay in a hotel in the city on Wednesday night then.”

Swallowing back another slug of his beer Jon raised his finger in another triumphant salute.

“I’ve a better idea again – you can stay in my place in the city. It’d actually be easier for the chopper to get in and out of there so that works. But……I’ll have to warn you…..” With a playful wink he nudged her foot under the table. “….I didn’t think to buy new bedding for that place – yet!”

“Oooh…….a night at the Jon Bon Jovi love shack huh?” Groaning dramatically Rachel took another sip of her margarita. “Please tell me I won’t have to deal with disco balls and mirrors?!”

Chortling Jon dipped his head and sat back as their order of paella arrived, a vibrant dish full of an assortment of colourful rice grains and shellfish.

“You never know baby – there’s all sorts of surprises in that place!”

Rachel smiled her thanks to the server who set a warm plate in front of her before turning her attention back to Jon.

“Seriously though, I appreciate the offer Jon but I’m perfectly fine in a hotel…..”

Spooning heaps of the steaming paella onto her dish, Jon smoothly interrupted her protestations.

 “NuhUH! At least this way I’ll still have you in my bed! I’ll have everything set up for you by tomorrow, it’s not a problem.”

Accepting the man wasn’t going to take no for an answer, Rachel acquiesced before fixing him with a slightly sheepish look.

“Um…..Jon? The sheets will be clean right?”

Without beating a beat Jon nodded; “More than likely but if not you can just sleep on top of the blankets…you’re a big girl Rachel Braden – I’m sure you can rough it for one night!”

When her eyes widened in horror, Jon’s shoulders shook with a roll of laughter.

“I’m kidding! Of course the sheets will be clean baby – what kind of savage do you think I am??”

Sticking her fork into a piece of chicken Rachel raised her eyebrows at him and smirked.

“Oh I know exactly what kind of savage you are Mr Bon Jovi, don’t you worry about that!”

Chapter Twenty Seven

The scorching afternoon sun bled a heat into the air by the pool that would have been stifling if it hadn’t have been for the light breeze floating off the glistening river that gently ruffled the pages of the book Rachel was absentmindedly attempting to read. Stretching luxuriously on one of the new loungers she had purchased on her shopping spree, she sighed with pleasure and let the book slide to the ground. Her body barely concealed by a black string bikini, appreciatively lapped up the warm sunshine, the heat seeping under her skin and into her sated veins. It was a couple of hours since Jon had rocked her to an unbelievable new level of orgasm, not once but three delicious and satisfying times. Smiling to herself, she let her eyes drift shut as she revelled in the still glorious aftermath of their morning union on his sofa. The things that man could do amazed her, she felt like he’d unlocked the door to a whole new sensual world that she’d been missing out on and she couldn’t get enough of it. 

They had lain together, slickened by a damp sweat from the heat and friction of their bodies in a blissful daze until Jon’s cell had interrupted and reminded them there was actually a real world outside of the little sex bubble they had been existing in. She had left him to take care of the important sounding call signalling that she was heading for the pool, actually sniggering to herself that he had to drag himself back into business mode while she took advantage of the benefits of a weekend off and immersed herself in the taxing business of sun worshipping.

A bead of sweat trickled down the valley between her breasts, it really was insanely hot out for the time of year. Reluctantly she sat up, smirking at the gentle reminder of the frenzied morning activities from between her legs. She’d missed feeling like this – simply satisfied. Reaching up to tighten the band that scraped the hair off her face, she took one step towards the pool’s edge and dived neatly into the cool depths of the water. Swimming a couple of lengths along the bottom of the freshly tiled floor, she eventually surfaced at the far end and hoisted herself up to sit on the edge, her legs still dangling in the rippling water. She wiped the streams of water from her eyes just in time to see a familiar figure walk around the side of the house dressed in a t-shirt and board shorts, the sun glinting off his dark sunglasses with every bouncy step. Grinning she watched in delight as he came closer, stripping off his tee to expose the glorious tanned expanse of muscle that defined his chest. That body was something she’d swear she’d be able to pick out blindfolded.

“Hey there neighbour!”

Flashing his trademark smile that flipped her stomach every time as he kicked off his trainers, Jon tossed his shirt and sunglasses to the lounger Rachel had just vacated and dove straight in, splashes of water marking his less than elegant torpedo under the surface. Giggling she stifled a scream when he came up between her legs and threatened to pull her in on top of him.

“Don’t you dare – I just got out!”

“Aw baby, come on – let me get you all wet!” Smirking with an evil grin, he pulled himself up just enough to deliver a quick kiss to her lips before he let himself slide back into the water.

“You already did that this morning you bad, bad man!” 

Laughing Rachel leaned down and ran her fingers through the tousled mess of soaked hair on his head that was bobbing between her legs.

“Did you get everything taken care of?”

Her bikini bottom at his eye level, Jon focused on running a finger just above the band of material that curved neatly around her hips. “Mmm hmm………but you didn’t need to leave.”

“I know but the sun was too tempting and I needed to try out my new pool furniture!”

“Nice suit you got there…………could you buy that in every colour?” 

Winking cheekily up at her, he ducked back under the water to sweep his hair back and popped back up with a mouthful of water that he dropped with a kiss onto the front of her low sitting bikini. The chill of the water made her gasp, his lips pausing just long enough to nip at the soaked fabric. The intense heat of the sun on her back did little to suppress the goose bumps that were travelling up and down her skin.

Watching her sneakily under his eyes, Jon resumed running his finger along the hem until he reached the side and daringly tugged on the string tie just enough to loosen the garment for a more thorough inspection. Shivering Rachel sucked in a breath, the taut skin across her belly tightening just an inch more when he slowly dipped his finger lower.

“C-section?”

Glancing down to where Jon was lightly tracing the line of her faint scar she nodded.

“Mmm hmm”

“With both of your kids?” 

Curious, Jon pushed back in the water just far enough to be able to curl his arms around the back of her knees. Smiling Rachel leaned back on her hands to gaze contentedly at him.

“Yeah. I wasn’t exactly built for having babies!” 

“I was there when all four of mine were born……if seeing your kids come into the world doesn't define ‘awe’ then I don’t know what does. I barely made it there for Jakey……we had to get clearance from the White House to fly over their air space.” Jon chuckled at the memory, water sloshing gently around his neck. “I made it, but by the skin of my teeth!”

Rachel snorted, her head shaking in disbelief. “You just let that roll right off your tongue didn’t you?...’I got clearance from the White House’….” Rolling her eyes she grinned down at his unperturbed shrug.

“Well I did!”

 “I was in labour for two days with Lauren and this was back when women thought they had to do ‘natural childbirth’ or they were wimps. By the end of those first twelve hours I was ready to do a runner!”

Jon nodded, his eyes dancing with merriment. “Hell yeah I remember Dorothea was totally into the breathing and all that crap…….it didn’t take long for us to discover breathing wasn’t equal to morphine! Didn’t help that I got off track on the whole breathing thing which threw her off – I thought she was gonna kill me!”

Running her toes up the sides of his chest under the water, Rachel laughed back at him. She was enjoying this easy conversation; it was nice to be able to just talk.

“I hope you were more help to her than Nick was to me! He was the coolest person I’ve ever known except when it came to childbirth! Then he was completely useless! He was chewing on those Peppermint Lifesavers and breathing them into my face – nine months of pregnancy and I never once had an ounce of morning sickness but the nausea during labour from those peppermint things – ugh!”

Grimacing she shook her head. “I still can’t stand the smell!”

Pleased that she was willingly opening up to him and giving him a look through the window of her past life, Jon gazed up at her softly from his semi submerged state.

“I bet you were an incredible mother….”

Rachel thought for a moment before she answered with a slight shrug. “Well if the desire to be a mother makes you a great one, then yeah I was. But you know how it is, you do your best and some days you fall a little short. I’m sure there are a million things you’d do differently with your kids right?”

“Well sure………but they’re really great kids….. and they’re mercifully forgiving!” He shot her a rueful smile. “They’re incredibly tolerant of me being gone so much. Their mother has had the burden of parenting, that’s for sure.”

Teasing, Rachel poked him gently with her toe. “That’s probably why they’re such good kids – you haven’t been around to corrupt them!”

Chuckling with mock hurt Jon grabbed her foot and tugged, nearly but not quite toppling her into the water. “Hey! Keep that up and I might have to cut you off!”

Giggling she rolled her eyes and pushed herself back onto the ledge. “I’m quaking in my boots!”

Jon pulled himself back in between her legs once more and narrowing his eyes began to nip shamelessly at the soft flesh of her inner thigh. 

“You know you like it……”

Retying the strings of her bikini bottom Rachel looked down at him incredulously.

“Good LORD! You’re gonna be the death of me – you can’t possibly be able to get it up again!”

“Of course I can – anytime, anywhere you want it baby!” Reluctantly tearing his attention away from her warm legs he grinned up at her. “But lucky for you – we have to go get cleaned up.”

Puzzled Rachel stopped fumbling with the strings. “Cleaned up for what?”

“We’re going into the City for a little shopping and dinner. Just jeans or shorts – whatever you want to wear……I have a casual evening planned for you.”

“Oh you do? Hmm….. shopping for what exactly?” Suspicious Rachel got to her feet and headed for the lounger to retrieve her towel as Jon hoisted himself up out of the water.

“You’ll see! Now go get dressed my sweet and meet me at my place – can you be ready in an hour?”

Rachel snorted derisively at his order as she rubbed the towel over her hair.

“Yes Boss! I can be ready before then but….”

“Ah ah!” Water dripping from his chest and shorts, Jon shook his head showering her with droplets of water that flew from his hair. “No questions from you little girl! Just go put some clothes on…..”

Smirking he grabbed a corner of her towel to dry off his face and waggled his brows cheekily at her.

“….preferably something I can see through and tear off of you with one hand.”

Rolling her eyes Rachel grinned at him and retrieved her fallen book from the ground, the thoughts of an evening out with him excited her beyond belief and the added uncertainty of a mystery date only served to heighten the intensity. 

Chapter Twenty Six

The radio in the Tahoe blared noisily to life as soon as Rachel fired up the engine. Flicking it off she hit the accelerator and drove out the gate taking the river road into town. Their conversation replayed over and over in her head as she passed over the bridge and entered the leafy suburbs. Jon had a point and she even agreed with it. Flipping the situation she considered how she would feel if Jon was still wearing his wedding ring. Truth be told she’d be pretty unnerved by it - maybe the time had come to leave the past where it belonged without her even realising it.

Pulling to a stop at a red light she stared out the window at the passer-by’s. Kids chattered excitedly to one another as they came out of a store and couples strolled leisurely past oblivious to the turmoil in her mind. No matter what life went on, there was nothing that could be done to avoid it – that much was becoming clearer to her by the day. Drifting back into memories she recalled that sunny day on the beach when she had exchanged vows with Nick, placing the rings on one another’s fingers.

'Til death do us part….’ Death had parted them and ultimately the contract they had signed that day was now null and void – on paper.

When the traffic signal turned green she continued down the high street, forcing herself to concentrate on the road until she pulled into a space in front of the jewellery store. Switching off the ignition she stared at the ornate sign above the door;

Roberts Family Jewellers

Where Memories Are Cherished

It hit her like a concrete block – memories – they were all she had now of her family and her past life but that was all they were – memories. She was grateful for them, even if she’d somehow been able to see into the future all those years ago and known that Nick and their kids would only be in her life for the briefest of time she’d still have done it exactly the same. Her life with them had been a gift of the most precious kind but it was time. Maybe things wouldn’t work out with Jon, she had no way of knowing that either but she owed it to herself to at least try.

The jewellery store was quiet when she entered, a lone man at the bottom of the room standing to greet her as she approached the counter. After producing some identification she agreed to wait while the jeweller went to the back room to retrieve her necklace. Wandering around the small store she gazed at the rows of sparkling bracelets and watches securely contained behind flawlessly polished glass windows. At the back of one of the cabinets a pendent caught her eye, a brilliant diamond twinkling against a black velvet case. Moving closer to the glass she narrowed her eyes to take a better look, her eyes widening in wonder at the simple design. Set in white gold, the small stone nestled at the base of a sweeping x with the uppermost tips closely resembling two fingers intertwined – for all the world a pinkie swear.  

“Excuse me Ma’am?”

The polite voice of the jeweller snapped Rachel back to reality and tearing her gaze away from the pendent she quickly thanked the man and paid for her repaired necklace, pocketing the small brown envelope it was contained in. On her way out, the pendant once again caught her attention – she was being silly but it drew her back, stopping her in her tracks. The simplicity of the design was breath taking but it was the symbolism it held that made up her mind. Retracing her steps back to the man who had served her, she pulled out her credit card and bought it before she could change her mind. It was time.

Just over an hour later and after a quick run to completely gather her thoughts, Rachel twisted her still shower wet hair into a knot and secured it with a clasp. Pulling on some denim shorts and a white lace t-shirt she sat in front of the mirror and stared at her reflection whilst smoothing on some moisturiser.

Her face still slightly flushed from the run and subsequent shower stared back, the smooth and evenly toned skin belying her years. The small brown envelope containing her repaired chain sat on the dressing table before her, the open black pendent box beside it. With a deep breath she carefully tipped the chain out and threaded it through the eye of the pendent. When the diamond stone caught the rays of sunlight streaming into the bedroom against the palm of her hand, it sparkled with such brilliance that she sucked in a sharp breath. It really was so beautiful. 

Finally she fastened the delicate chain around her neck, the unfamiliar feel of the cool pendent against her bare skin making a shiver run down her spine as she tucked it out of sight beneath the low neckline of her shirt. With the now empty pendent box in one hand she pulled open the small drawer to her right, her fingers scrabbling under the assortment of underwear until they clasped the two metal bands she was looking for. The rings, chinking against one another as she scooped them up fell easily into the crushed velvet bed that lined the small box. She stared at them lying beside one another for a long moment before sighing and shutting the box with a gentle snap. She knew where they were if she needed them although a part of her was desperately hoping this was a final goodbye, she wasn't sure if her heart could go through this kind of torment again. Rising from the low cushioned stool she tucked the box safely out of sight at the back of the drawer and pushed it closed. With that one final act it was if a weight had lifted off her shoulders, the day suddenly seemed brighter and the warm sunshine beckoned her outside - it really was time to move forward.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Jon?”

Standing in the empty kitchen of Jon’s house Rachel called out loudly, there was no way she was risking Alice catching her snooping about again. Much to her relief, she heard him holler back at her, his voice carrying through from down the hallway.

“In the living room.”

Wandering down the long passageway she turned into the large corner room where she found Jon slouched on a sofa in front of one of the biggest television screens she’d ever seen.

“Hey………” Jon hit the pause button and turned to greet her, an easy smile lighting up his face. His eyes travelled over her body as she approached, long toned legs disappearing underneath the shorts and shirt she was wearing to conceal what he knew to be an equally toned abdomen. When she leaned in for a kiss, her shower fresh scent wafted by his nose and he drew in an appreciative breath.

“Mmmn…….you smell good baby.”

When she settled beside him on the sofa the sight of the delicate chain ensconced around her neck made him tense with frustration but not wishing for another fight he pushed any resentful thoughts to the back of his mind. The last thing he wanted to do was go back there and it was crazy to be jealous of a dead man……right?

“What’s the movie?”

Curling her legs underneath her, Rachel motioned to the stilled black and white image on the screen.

“We filmed for a documentary throughout the last tour and this is the rough footage that I’ve gotta go through.” Jon shrugged and tossed the remote control onto the cushion beside him. “But I can look at it later – everything go okay in town?”

Nodding Rachel smiled back at him, “Oh yeah, no problems.” Swiftly changing the subject she focused her attention on the television screen. “So this is behind the scenes footage?” Genuinely interested she pressed him for details. “Mind if I watch it with you?”

Chuckling Jon shook his head, “Not at all but be prepared to be bored senseless – there’s hours of it to be sorted through.”

When he reached to pick up the remote content to have her just sit with him, Rachel laid a soft hand on his arm. “Actually…..can we talk for a minute first?”

Oh boy…….here we go…….. Bracing himself for another argument Jon rolled his eyes good naturedly and grinned at her despite his inward reservations about where this was headed.

“Sure baby – I see no need to change up our routine now.”

Chuckling when she swatted him for the sarcasm that dripped from his voice, he leant his head against the back of the sofa and waited patiently for her to speak, his fingers finding their way among hers.

Rachel took a deep breath before looking him straight in the eyes and softly beginning to speak.

“I thought a lot about what you said earlier………and you made some valid points. But there’s something I need you to remember…….”

Raising his brows, Jon looked at her with a degree of cynical expectancy. He had a feeling he wasn’t going to like this conversation very much……..

“We both have the ‘Ghost of Christmas Past’ looming about. This house?” Looking away from him momentarily Rachel threw her eyes up to the ornately plastered ceiling of the living room. “This was yours and your ex-wife’s as is your bed………I daren’t even think about the number of women who have shared it with you.”

When Jon stiffened in defence she hurried to finish before he could interrupt. “I guess what I’m trying to say Jon is……..I’m not the only one here with a past.”

Suppressing the flash of immediate indignation that seared through his brain at her apparent conclusions, Jon thought for a moment to process what she was actually saying. She wasn’t accusing him of anything, merely stating the facts as she saw them and for that he couldn’t blame her.

“I see where you’re going with this but let me tell you Rachel…….this whole ‘relationship’ thing is every bit as new to me as it is to you….”

Rachel cut across him with a questioning frown. “But you said you had a woman you ‘regularly hooked up with’ in L.A and then some other socialite….”

Hushing her with a solitary finger, Jon wagged it solemnly at her. “Hooking up does not constitute a relationship Rachel. Sharing my bed does not mean waking up in my bed……unless I want you there in the morning. I can easily count on one hand the number of women I’ve wanted to wake up with and in recent times, there’s been no one besides you.”

Smirking he cocked his head at her with a wink. “If you think I’d put in a week like I’ve just put in with you for a girl I’m just ‘hooking up with’, you’re outta your mind!”

Relaxing Rachel laughed back at him, relief falling from her in waves. Picking up his hand she traced the outline of his fingers with her own. “Well alright then…….so I guess my next question is……why me Jon?”

Entranced by the sight of her small fingers Jon shrugged. “Truthfully? I dunno yet. There’s just something about you that I’ve yet to put my finger on.” Smirking he lifted his other hand to gently release her damp hair from its clip, the darkened waves falling to her shoulders. “Obviously you’re beautiful…….and you do have this great habit of making me horny as hell….”

When Rachel blushed he cupped her chin with his hand, his eyes searching for her acceptance.

“But you’re a smart lady too…….strong……..confident………..funny……..” Resisting the urge to laugh Jon fought to remain serious. “And you have a seriously high tolerance for tequila – my kind of woman!”

“So you’re calling me an alcoholic?” Rachel joked back, her wit coming to the rescue from the uncomfortable focus she’d placed on herself.

“Not at all, just stating the facts.” Jon grinned before fixing her with a pointed look. “So let’s turn the tables here……why me?”

“Duh! Haven’t you guessed? The hair of course!”

Chuckling Jon nodded knowingly; “Ah…..of course.”

Rachel giggled, her laughter tinkling through the easy air between them. Smiling she rested her head against the palm of his hand that was gently massaging the roots of her hair.

“I mean, obviously I was attracted to you…..” She dropped her eyes for a brief second feeling the heat of embarrassment flood her cheeks. “But I think mostly it was that I enjoyed your company…..I liked being around you………” Pausing for a long second she took a deep breath before letting herself fall back into the pool of his eyes. “Jon……you were the first man that even tempted me on any level since…..well you know since when! And you wouldn’t take no for an answer.”

Shrugging she swiped the hand that wasn’t laced with his across her eyes, brushing away the tendrils of hair that were fleeing from Jon’s soothing fingers. “You pushed me outside of my comfort zone – way outside which maybe was what I needed.

Shifting her weight on to the sofa to nestle closer to him, she gazed past him out the tall windows that were spaced evenly around the perimeter of the room. Wispy clouds high up in the azure sky scudded past in a warm southerly breeze that ruffled the drapes of one of the open windows.

“Nick and I always had a ‘life plan’ that kept our family in sync……….and things pretty much went according to that plan but when they were taken from me all of a sudden I had no plan. The past became Camelot and the present was something I survived…..breathe in, breathe out and then do it again, day after day. The future was suddenly this big black hole of……..nothing. Everything we’d ever planned on was gone – everything."

Jon watched silently as she mused out loud, almost afraid to breathe in case he broke the spell. Slowly and rhythmically he kept up the gentle massage through her hair, easing whatever tensions she was spilling into her words.

“When you remove your children from the future – there are no grandchildren. When your life partner is gone, there is no growing old together……so the future terrified me. Life isn’t a fairy tale as much as we all grow up dreaming it to be – nobody gets out without losing something or somebody they love……” 

Her voice held just a touch of bitterness as she sighed heavily; “It’s all just a series of shattered dreams and broken promises and I’ve come to realise it’s like that for a lot more people out there than we’d like to think.”

Finally she turned her head back to face him, her voice soft and even. “But now you’ve barged into my present and if I’ve learned anything it’s that all we have is now. The past is gone and the future is not a certainty but all I know is that when I’m with you, I’m alive again. I’m feeling something…even when you hurt me……….I was feeling!”

Jon’s pulse flitted through his temples, a hard lump beginning to form in his throat at the depth of her emotions. She was finally laying herself bare and letting him in.

“I thought I had no home…..and by that I don’t mean a house……home is that safe place where you land when the world is kicking your butt……..it’s a feeling. I feel like I belong in life again and if I gain nothing more from this move and getting to know you then that’s more than enough to be grateful for.”

As she lay curled against him and at the mention of home, Jon’s brain flickered to life with a crystal clear realisation. He’d said he didn’t know what it was that had attracted him to her in the first place yet it had been staring him in the face all this time. Sitting up he grasped her hand a little tighter.

“That’s it………right there! You asked me what it was about you…..well I know all too well what you mean about not having a ‘home’. All I could think about while I was stuck in California was that you were here and it wouldn’t matter where you were……..that’s where I think I would want to be.”

Shaking his head in wonder he smiled at her, “When I got off that plane yesterday I didn’t even come here first – I sent the driver on with my bags and I went straight to you…..’Home’ for me was where you were. And even today…..I was sitting here pissed off at the world in general and then you walked in…” Pausing he rolled his eyes. “….even with your husband’s wedding ring around your neck there was still a calmness that came with you. You made this monstrosity of a house feel like home…..something I haven’t felt here in years….” 

Helplessly he looked at her for signs that his incessant ramblings were sinking in. “Does that make any sense?”

Rachel nodded, a small smile stretching her lips as she dipped her head to pull her chain free from underneath her shirt.

“It does make sense….so much sense in fact….” Dangling her new pendent between her fingers, she watched as Jon’s eyes widened in confusion. “I really thought about what you said about my wedding rings being a symbol of my commitment to another man and that it was literally between us and eventually I came to the conclusion that you were right.”

As Jon silently watched the diamond sparkle from her fingers, she took a deep breath. “But I’ve also reached the point where I finally know that my life with Nick and our family is over. Removing the rings doesn’t make it any more or less true…….and it doesn’t mean that I love them any less.”

Shaking his head softly Jon edged closer to her, “Rachel baby, I don’t want to erase Nick……..nobody could ever erase Dorothea or our kids no matter what the circumstances were so that’s not my desire. I just don’t want to feel like he’s between you and me every time I get close to you.”

“I know……I’d come to the conclusion before I even got to the jewellers this morning that the time had come to take the step to truly move on with my life…..whatever that is, wherever that is and whoever it’s with.” Rachel shrugged with honesty, “Or without anybody if the case may be. I’m not hanging my future on you or us – that wouldn’t be fair to either of us but whatever becomes of us?”

Smiling she reached up to graze her thumb along his jaw, “Well you will always be very special to me if only because you pulled me out of that big black empty hole that was the future.”

When her eyes began to blur with the threat of impending tears, she drew in a sharp breath and blinked the moisture away. This was not a time for tears, in fact she hadn’t felt this happy since she couldn’t remember.

“I saw this charm and it reminded me of our pinkie swear!” Giggling she rolled her eyes and shrugged when Jon began to grin at her. “I know, I know it’s silly but it just felt right…….”

Hooking a finger around the chain Jon gently tugged her closer so he could brush her lips with a gentle kiss. “It’s not silly at all – I love it. I just kinda wish I’d bought it for you…..when I see you wearing it I’ll remember that moment……when all we had was a gut instinct and a pinkie swear.”

Rachel tipped her head back exposing her neck that Jon was gently but insistently kissing his way down. The roughness of his chin sent tremors of electricity shooting down her nerve endings and wriggling closer she wrapped her arms around his shoulders.

“Well if it bothers you that much I’m sure if you look hard enough you could find the matching set…..” Teasing him she straddled his lap and fingered the collar of his shirt. “But you know what this means right?”

Lifting his head from her neck, Jon met her sultry gaze with a questioning look. “What?”

“The only thing between our two bodies now…..” She ground her hips gently against his lap, a devilish smirk playing across her lips. “……would be these clothes….”

With a soft growl Jon returned the smirk and slid his hands underneath her shirt to slide it up over the arms that she held upstretched for him. Tossing it aside he feasted his eyes on the soft plunge of her breasts fettered by a lacy white bra before he deftly flicked open the front clasp and set them free to bounce into his waiting hands.

“No longer an issue baby……..”

Chapter Twenty Five

“Hey…..” Jon’s voice was croaky with sleep, his bleary blue eyes struggling to focus on the vision of Rachel smiling softly at him from the crumpled pillows around them.

“Good morning……” Streams of sunlight spilled across her face, illuminating the tousled tresses of her blonde hair. “You sleep like the dead!”

Yawning Jon smiled lazily, his arm that was still draped around the smooth plane of her abdomen pulling her closer so he could murmur in her ear. “Well you my sweet hog the bed!”

The roughness of his fingertips sent shockwaves zipping through her belly, flutters of excitement making her curl her body in delight against his firmness. They had spent most of the night getting reacquainted with one another – forgiving one another. 

“I do not! Every time I tried to scoot over, you and your third leg would wake and assault me again…I was afraid to move!” She shifted up the bed, supporting her head on an elbow and cocked an eyebrow mischievously at him. “What’s up with that? We’re having more sex than any teenager in the entire state of New Jersey!”

Chuckling Jon’s eyes glinted with amusement, his fingers tracing slow circles around her belly button.

“I don’t know if we’re having more sex than any teenager but we’re definitely having better sex than any teenager! Who knew it would be better in your forties than in your twenties?”

Rachel sucked in a breath when his hand slid lower leaving an invisible scorch mark on her quivering skin. “Hmmm…….well if this level of activity keeps up we may just have to reinstate your other women.” When his fingers began to follow the natural downward curve that led to her satiny soft centre she sighed happily and arched her body into his touch. “Don’t get rid of that little Black Book you must keep somewhere just yet…….. I'm not sure I can keep up!”

His morning arousal strengthening Jon nibbled cheekily on the tip of her dainty nose. “Nope….no other women for me anymore – I’m a changed man!” Breath warm against her cheek, he alternated soft kisses between his murmurings. “A deal is a deal……we made a pinkie swear………so I guess that means your morning chores are about to start, my sweet…..little……..California….girl.”

As one roughened finger slipped between her slippery folds Jon’s mouth finally laid claim to her lips, his teeth scraping slowly across the already tender flesh. Squirming when she felt a second finger ease inside her pulsing core, Rachel moaned with appreciation and hooked a leg over his hip willingly inviting him deeper. Gently teasing and probing Jon slowly continued his infliction of a sweet torture, his fingers and lips working in unison to build an unyielding tension until she could take no more. With surprising strength she hoisted her slender frame up from their still slumber some positions until she straddled him, her lips curving in a satisfied smirk at the surprise on Jon’s face at her lightning quick action.

“And just like that – the hunter becomes the prey!”

Placing her palms flat on his broad chest, she slid her fingers through the scattering of peppered hairs that blanketed the firm muscles, balancing her weight on her forearms until her hips hovered just inches above his proud erection.

“Now you’re all mine Jersey Boy!”

Strands of her loose hair fell forward over her shoulder, tickling his skin with feathery sweeps. It had been years since she had felt so sexually empowered, so intoxicated by the feeling that she alone was responsible for the excitement of the man beneath her in all his glorious masculinity. Tantalisingly slow she rotated her pelvis lower and lower until he was nudging at her entrance, the contorted grin on his face just enough for her to know she was exacting a torture of her own.

“Jesus Rachel……….”

“Close but not quite!” Sitting up she finally allowed him to slide between her legs, a satisfied smirk of pleasure spreading across her face when her walls closed around his thick girth that was becoming so familiarly comfortable. They fitted one another – completely.

Writhing in a slow dance of pleasure they intertwined fingers, each supporting the other as waves of slow ecstasy burned through their most intimate parts. Eyes locked they matched their rhythm, a harmonious melody building in crescendo until sparks shot to Rachel’s tightly curled toes and a tumultuous surge of blood pushed Jon over the edge.

“Christ…………you’re a bad, bad girl!” Eyes closed, Jon gulped in great breaths of air, a slight sheen of sweat coating the expanding measure of his chest. His heart pounded mercilessly in a staccato that any drummer would have been hard pressed to match as he felt a sated Rachel settle herself on his groin, her heat and wetness flooding the space between them.

Breathlessly she smiled down at him from her perch before leaning lower to graze her lips against his morning stubble. The softness of her skin melted against him, the slight weight of her frame fitting neatly between the arms that he raised to wrap around her back.

“This bad girl done good……..” Rachel purred against his throat before rolling gently from him to grab her robe from the floor and offering him a cheeky wink. 

“And now she wants coffee! Come on rock star – up and at ‘em!”

Chuckling Jon watched her lazily from his comfortable nest amongst the sheets. It was a long time since he’d woken up with a woman that made him feel so……..content. Life was real good right now.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Twenty minutes later and freshly showered, Jon padded down the stairs scratching at his grizzled jaw. Pausing in the grand hallway to gaze appreciatively at a magnificent oil painting he hadn’t seen before he heard Rachel chattering into her phone in the kitchen.

“Oh great! I’ll be in within the hour to pick it up. Thanks so much Mr Roberts.”

The welcoming smell of freshly brewed coffee greeted Jon as he shuffled in yawning with his hands shoved deep in his pockets. Rachel finished with her call tossed the phone into her purse and turned to him with a steaming cup and a chirpy grin.

“About time you got down here! Coffee?”

“One of us has a little too much energy this morning and it ain’t me!” Accepting the coffee from her, he eyed her suspiciously over the rim of the mug as he took a tentative sip of the hot liquid. “Where are you going within the hour?”

Filling her own cup from the pot Rachel stirred in some creamer. “Oh just down to Roberts Jewellery……they repaired my necklace and it just came in but they’re only open until noon so I want to run into town and get it.” Turning to him she motioned outside. “How about you come with me and we grab some breakfast while we’re out?”

Confusion clouded Jon’s brain. “Your necklace?”

“Yes! Remember….my necklace that broke while you were having your wicked way with me?”

An uneasy feeling settled in the pit of Jon’s stomach. “Right……the one with the wedding rings. You had that repaired because……?”

Grinning Rachel laughed playfully at him and began to wash out the coffee pot.

“Um…….because it was broken…….” Rolling her eyes at his obviously moronic stupidity she left the jug to drain beside the sink and picked up a towel to dry her hands. “That is generally why people get things repaired Jon!”

Silently Jon took another slow swallow of coffee. That necklace was gonna haunt him but they were in such a good place right now he’d do almost anything to avoid another argument.

“Uh….I need to go back to my place to shave and change into some clean clothes…..”

“Oh please! If I can put a hat on and go out without makeup I think you can be seen in public without that perfect head of hair of yours, my little beauty queen!”

Giggling Rachel tossed her keys at him before turning to grab her purse. “C’mon I’m STARVING – you can drive big guy!”

Nimbly catching the keys in one hand, Jon sighed and set his coffee cup down on the island. There was nothing else for it, he was just going to have to say it.

“Rachel…………shit………I hate to be a wet blanket but I gotta tell you – the whole wedding ring thing? It kinda throws me for a loop………I mean it’s a little weird to be making love to you and seeing your late husband’s ring dangling from your neck in front of my eyes…….”

In an instant the fresh faced delight that had been dancing across Rachel’s face clouded over. Irritation flashed in her eyes and she blew out a somewhat resentful sigh.

“You know what Jon?………..I wish we could have just ONE drama-free day.” 

Tucking her purse under one arm she held her hand out for the car keys. “I told Mr Roberts I’d be in shortly…….I have to go.”

Stunned Jon handed them over as she brushed by him, he’d known that was never going to come across right but he hadn’t expected that reaction. Hell he didn’t even deserve that reaction!

“Hey! Hold on just a damn second will you?!” Spinning on his heels he watched her look back across her shoulder at him. “Are you gonna walk away every time there’s a bump in the road?”

Slowly she turned back to face him, “You know Jon…….roller coaster rides are fun……..the FIRST couple of times. But then they just make you sick and you want off. It’s a beautiful day – a day I’ve actually been looking forward to! I finally have a sense of being at home in this place and I want to enjoy it without the constant loops and corkscrews that come along with YOU.”

Ouch! Jon winced inwardly and took a deep breath as he listened to her continue. Count to ten Jon, count to ten.

“Jon I don’t like to be told what to do or how to act. I’m a competent and successful woman – with or without you. Or any man for that matter. The other night when I was such a wreck? That’s not me! That was ONE weak moment and it won’t be happening again.”

When Jon made to speak she cut across him, her voice cold and unyielding. “Nick was my husband for twenty years, the father of my children. If the time comes that I choose not to keep our wedding rings close to me then that will be MY decision – not yours.”

Anger pursed her lips in a thin line and she gave him one final glare before marching out the door.

“Rachel! Don’t you dare!” An indignant rage coursed through his veins as he shouted after her. “Get back here and at least give me the courtesy of having an adult conversation!”

Pausing half way out the door, Rachel spun hard around, her face contorted in disbelief at his tone.

Taking full advantage of having successfully captured her attention Jon threw caution to the wind and let loose.

“I don’t know how to compete with the ghost of St. Nick the Perfect! I did NOT ask you to put the rings away.” He shook his head willing his words to get through to her, to register somehow. “I simply explained how my seeing them around your neck makes me feel. I’ve told you I was wrong for the way I treated you the other day but YOU are wrong now – I’m entitled to feelings just like you are. Those rings? They’re a symbol of your commitment to another man and while you’re wearing them he is LITERALLY between us!”

Rachel stared at him for a moment until she dropped her head, shame and regret weighing her down. She was torn between two places, loyalty to the man who’d been her husband or the willingness to leave it all behind and step forward with the man who stood before her.

“This is new Rachel……that’s all this is and we’re working out the kinks.” Closing the space between them Jon pulled her into his arms and held her close.

“Remember last night? Nothing more from the past?”

Tipping her chin up to him, he brushed his lips to hers. “Baby we gotta be able to communicate with each other without it turning into a battle ground every time.”

Quietly Rachel nodded. “Jon, it’s been the better part of twenty five years since I had a new relationship to navigate……” Moving away from him she sank onto a stool at the kitchen island. “Nick and I had very clear boundaries with each other. He always likened me to the wild horses in the deserts of Nevada…..have you ever seen them?”

When Jon shook his head she smiled slightly. “They’re beautiful creatures – when left wild. But if you try capture them and put them in a corral they buck and fight and bite. That’s why he said he knew never to try put me on a leash or corral me because no matter what I’d always fight for my freedom.”

Shrugging she studied her fingernails. “Nick said he was better off to let me run wild so to speak……if left to my own devices I’d stay close to the ranch because I wanted to……….not because I was forced.”

“Rachel baby, I would never force you to do anything – you know that right?”

Nodding Rachel smiled tiredly at him and glancing at her watch slid off the stool. “I do know that….”

Picking her purse back up she walked back to where he stood leaning against the counter. “I’m gonna go into town……….” Taking his hand in hers she gazed up at him and spoke softly. “I’m not dismissing you………I heard everything you said – just give me some time to work this through on my own okay?”

When Jon looked down into her eyes, he could see nothing but a quiet desperation swirling in their depths. As much as this killed him, he knew she wasn’t pushing him away on purpose. Lifting a hand he tenderly pushed the strands of hair off her face.

“Come over to my place later?

“Okay.”

A soft kiss and a reassuring squeeze later and she was gone, leaving Jon in the empty kitchen with nothing but his thoughts. Moving to the window he gazed out at the freshly mowed lawn, his brain slowly absorbing what had just taken place. He’d dealt with plenty of his own demons before but he wasn’t quite sure how to deal with someone else’s and it scared the hell out of him. 

Chapter Twenty Four

Jon’s fingers tightened around the corkscrew when his whole body tensed at her biting remark. With a dipped head and frustrated sigh he pulled the cork out, the audible ‘pop’ sounding like a shotgun being fired in the quiet kitchen. He’d thought they were past this – evidently not.

“I don’t know how many times or ways I can apologise for those words Rachel.”

His voice was quiet and heavy with resignation as he poured a generous measure of wine into each glass. Joining him at the table Rachel slid the steaming dish of chicken onto a serving plate and picked up the glass he silently proffered. After taking a long deliberate swallow she let the fruity spice of the wine linger in her mouth before it slid down her throat. Turning to face him she sighed and shook her head.

“I’m sorry Jon but I’ve got to ask…….a few days ago you seemed to lump me in with hordes of married women that you’ve screwed……at least that’s what it sounded like……” The pale wine sloshed around the glass from the tremor in her hand, “So I guess what’s really bugging me is that I’m wondering is that something you do with regularity……..sleep with women you know are married?”

The innocence and fragility that poured from her voice made Jon’s stomach churn. He had only himself to blame for this and he at least owed her a truthful answer even if it wasn’t what she wanted to hear. Pulling the sunglasses off the bridge of his nose he folded them up and let them drop noisily on the table.

“I’m no angel Rachel, never claimed to be one so yeah, there have been some women whom I knew were married.”

She nodded slowly accepting his quiet but frank answer with another question.

“Did you have other women when you were married?”

The cool depths of his blue eyes never faltered from the lock they shared with hers but the tension was etched across his forehead.

“I did……relatively discreetly and at some times more than at other times.”

“Was that the cause of your divorce………….your other women?”

His face conveyed no emotion, his reply curt and to the point. 

“I’d imagine it was a contributing factor.”

“So this is normal for you?” Rachel motioned with her free hand to the air around them, the other still nervously clutching the wine glass.

Jon looked at her under arched eyebrows, a fleeting puzzled look filtering through his eyes.

“This?”

“Yes Jon – this! I mean is it normal for you to find a woman such as ‘me’ irresistible only for you then to decide later she’s common and not worth hanging onto?”

Closing his eyes, Jon blew out a long tired sigh, his face crumpling with a mixture of frustration and disappointment as he raked a hand through his hair.

“Rachel I didn’t come home for this…….”

Another swallow of wine steadied Rachel’s confidence, she had no idea why she was looking for a fight but she wanted answers before this………thing……..went any further. She’d be damned if she ended being just another notch on some rock star’s belt.

“So why DID you come home Jon? Is it that you were feeling guilty and needed to clear your conscience or were you just horny and thought… ‘Hey I know where I can find an easy piece of ass!’….?”

Her words slammed into him like a freight train and a wave of indignant rage swelled from his gut to where his eyes sparked icily.

“Listen Rachel, I didn’t have to fly across the damn country to get laid. I could walk into pretty much any fucking room and find plenty of women throwing themselves at me.” Fuming he spat his words out with his fists curled tightly at his sides. “That’s not arrogance; it’s just a well-known fact – me getting laid? NOT a problem – EVER!”

His jaw was rigid with defiance and his back ram rod straight as he continued on his rant. She wanted answers? – Well she was gonna get them.

“You want to know the truth? The truth is I had a girl I regularly hook up with all over me the other night and I shut her down because all I could see in my head was YOU!”

Images of Jon with another woman after the night they’d spent together flooded Rachel’s stunned mind and left a wave of nausea sweeping through her stomach. Her face paled and with a shake of her head she walked away from him to stand at the kitchen sink, her trembling fingers white tipped with exertion when she grasped the ceramic edge for support.

“The only thing worse than the vile things you SAY…….are the vile things you DO…….” Staring resolutely out the window she spoke with a quiet but steely determination.

“You had better leave Jon. I think we’re done here.”

Jon was silent for a moment, his shoulders shaking with rage and his face contorted with fury. For a moment he thought about stalking out the door and slamming it behind him, he’d left one broken marriage behind him already and he wasn’t about to get into something else that was ultimately going to go the same way but……….

Taking a deep breath he moved around the island to come up behind her, his hands automatically reaching for her slender hips to turn her to face him. Glistening eyes shone out at him from the pale moon of her face and he chose his words carefully.

“Rachel…….I lost my temper with you the other day partly because I misunderstood the rings which in hindsight was incredibly dumb of me……….but mostly because you told me you’d never thought of cheating on your husband in twenty years of marriage and you asked me if I could say the same……..and that hit a nerve. I can’t say the same – you know that now but that still doesn’t take away from the fact that I’m not proud of it.”

Another heavy sigh rolled off his shoulders and he grasped her a little tighter willing the frustration in his head to subside.

“Rachel I don’t know how to tell you how sorry I am…….I was a cruel sonofabitch and I know that – it’s been playing on my mind nearly non-stop ever since I stupidly said it but honey……you gotta let me off the cross sometime!”

Rachel saw a quiet desperation swim into his eyes, the earlier anger subsiding and melting away into pools of sincerity.

“Your ‘regular hook up’………..did you sleep with her?”

Jon’s shoulders relaxed a little, his fingers loosening from their tight grip on her hips.

“No……things didn’t go that far…….I mean we had drinks and messed around a little but ultimately I sent her home.”

Although Rachel said nothing, Jon could see the coils of turmoil running through her mind as she wrestled with her feelings. He lifted his hands from her hips and gently cradled the sides of her head, his fingers sliding through the loose golden hair that flowed in gentle waves behind her ears.

“Look Rachel, I can be a real prick…..I know that – Jesus YOU know that……….but I’m not cruel by nature and I’m not a liar. I won’t ever lie to you and I came home because I wanted to see you and because I wanted to be with you…….”

His breath was hot on her cheeks but that was nothing compared to the heat that seared from his eyes into her soul. She wanted with every ounce of her being to believe him, her heart wanted to believe him but her head…..

“Jon…….given your obvious habits with multiple women……” A tremor shook her voice as she slowly reached up to remove his hands from where he still cradled her. “That’s just not something I’m willing to deal with…..I can’t……..”

Letting his hands drop he rubbed his forehead tiredly and shrugged. “Yeah, well as it turns out it’s not that great for me either. Look I’m not gonna get into the details but suffice it to say you were the only thing that stopped me when I was with her………….I know that doesn’t count for much right now but it’s the truth.”

Taking a step back he dipped his head and thought for a moment. They’d come this far and he’d told her more things than he’d barely ever told anyone. What had he got to lose any more?

“Rachel I don’t know where this thing between us will ultimately go…..can I give you ‘the band of gold’ even if you wanted it? No…..not today but if you’re asking me to commit to a monogamous relationship with you………I can do that.” 

Looking back up at where she stood silently watching him he raised his arms helplessly. “If you can let go of all this and let us explore something I can promise you there won’t be anybody else…….no dates…….no dinners….drinks…..nothing.”

Rachel sucked in a breath and wrapped her arms around herself, she was suddenly cold despite the simmering late afternoon heat outside. She wanted more than anything to give in, up until today Nick was the only man who had ever been prepared to fight for her but there was still a final nagging question that remained unanswered.

“I just want to know one more thing Jon and I know I have really no right to ask this but………that morning we were supposed to go for a run and you were hung over….you said it was because an old friend had shown up the night before…” Biting her lip nervously she went for the kill. “…Was it a woman?”

“Yes.” Jon nodded without hesitation, “She’s a socialite who has never accomplished anything other than to show up at every party and social gang bang the Hamptons has to offer.” Clearing his throat he moved closer to reassure her. “I always ‘protected’ myself with these women and if your next question is why I didn’t with you it’s because it’s a hell of a long time since I got so caught up in the moment that I truly didn’t care……I had a clean bill of health from the doc two months back and you’re the only one I’ve been careless with in ‘that’ way since more time than I can remember.”

The uncomfortable reality of his words, although Rachel seemed unaffected made his stomach turn but these were things he needed to say. Shaking his head he let his shoulders slump in despair.

“This isn’t good for you or me……….I know we have some sort of connection here – that much is obvious but I don’t have an explanation for it right now…….it’s all too new…..”

He searched her face for any sign of agreement but she merely waited silently for him to continue.

“I want to see what this is with us but I’m not prepared for us to keep hurting and fighting with one another. Can you let go of all this and move on…….with me?”

A whirlwind of thoughts crashed through her brain, she was acutely aware that he had bared his soul to her and she suspected Jon Bon Jovi was not the kind of man likely to leave himself in such a vulnerable state with anyone, much less a woman. Let go Rachel, for once in your life just let go!

A single tear trickled softly down each of her cheeks, not from sadness but more from relief. Slowly she nodded, a small smile curving upward from her trembling lips.

“I can……if you want to that is……..”

A euphoric release of pressure flooded Jon’s senses and he swooped forward to pull her close, his nose gently nuzzling the soft waves of hair that nestled from her head underneath his chin.

“More than anything baby, more than anything.”

Rocking on his heels he leant back and tipped her face up to him. God she was so innocently pure it mesmerised him. Gently he dropped a soft kiss on her moist lips, the light scent of her perfume tickling his nose.

“So nothing more from the past…….right?”

Rachel swallowed back the hard knot of emotion that was still squeezing a succession of tiny but happy tears from her eyes. Taking a deep breath she nodded and smiled.

“Right.”

Grinning Jon held up his right hand in front of her, waggling his little finger enticingly. “Pinkie swear?”

Rolling her eyes good naturedly, Rachel giggled at the absurdity of his childish proposal and raised her own finger to intertwine with his. The innocently blue shade of his irises that were locked in a puppy dog plea made her feel as if a thousand butterflies were fluttering inside her and she sighed happily when she felt his finger curl around hers.

“Pinkie swear.”

It may have been a simple and seemingly infantile gesture but right then a presidential handshake couldn’t have meant more – to either of them.