Chapter Fifty Six

“You and Rachel seem very comfortable together.”  

Rick Howe, according to Rachel, had been married to her sister Robin, for nearly twenty-five years.  Jon assumed that meant he knew her better than most, so he took the man’s comment as a good thing as he settled himself on a high stool. With his foot kicking one of the umpteen bags he and Rick and been delegated to babysit, Jon wondered how two women could acquire so much during a single morning in San Francisco’s Union Square. It boggled the mind really, and had driven the two men to retreat to an Irish pub on O’Farrell Street. The official excuse was to get out of the cold, Bay breeze but it was really to sit on their asses in a non-shopping environment and indulge in a little ‘guy time’.

   

Keeping Jon’s identity under wraps hadn't been all that difficult. There were a few second glances but nobody expected to see Jon Bon Jovi Christmas shopping in San Francisco. So between the mountains of bags and his usual ‘disguise’ of an unshaven face, baseball hat and sunglasses, the men had been left undisturbed. Jon found Rick to be an easy guy to hang out with and his unique relationship with Rachel allowing an insight into the woman he hadn't been privy to thus far was certainly an added bonus.

“Gotta tell you though,” Rick went on; “ I'm surprised she gave you a shot. Not you, per se, because considering how relaxed she is I’d say you’re probably good for her. I'm talking about any guy.”

Jon took a long swallow of the dark ale and nodded with a laugh at Rick’s perception of Rachel’s hesitancy to get involved in a new relationship. “Yeah, well she wasn't exactly warm and welcoming. I dunno what made me keep chasing her, but the first time I saw her I was intrigued and then I couldn't get her off my mind. Unfortunately, she wasn't as ‘wowed’ by my charms as I was hers.”

“She can be hard to get to know, but you won’t find a more loyal gal than Rachel - unless it would be Robin. Those two are rare. They’ll handle a major crisis without a tear. I swear man, they could organize a White House dinner in fifteen minutes but they’ll stop traffic for a stray dog. Soft as marshmallows…both of ‘em.”  

Rick’s admiration for the sisters was obvious, as was the mutual affection the girls shared for the husband of the eldest sister. “But Rachel changed after the accident. The lights were on but nobody was home, ya know? I’d actually forgotten just how bubbly she is until this weekend.”

“She’s not like anybody I've ever met, that’s for sure. She’s a spunky little thing.”  

Rick finished his beer and motioned to the waitress to bring them another round. “Odd choice of words. Nick used to call her the ‘Queen of Spunk’. He said she could take on a grizzly bear in the woods at night, armed with only a switch…and she’d win.” His laughter was mixed with a melancholy look in his eyes that Jon could only assume was at the memory of his late brother-in-law and the good times they had shared. “He thought she walked water while hanging the moon.”

“From what she’s told me they had a good relationship…”  Jon wasn't sure exactly how to respond to his new friend’s change in mood. The last thing he wanted to do was open up old wounds.

“Yeah, they were the envy of everybody they knew. Nick was a very charismatic guy - Mr Personality – funny as hell! And he thought Rachel was a Penthouse Pet.” Rick shook his head while accepting the beer from the waitress and smiled before continuing. “If he told me once he told me a hundred times about the first time he saw her in a white bikini. He said she was sexy as hell but was so innocent she didn't have a clue about it….. I think that was one of the things he loved most about her - her innocence.”

The twinge of jealousy Jon felt was brief and fleeting, quickly replaced with a fond and if somewhat sheepish grin. He had his own vivid images of Rachel in his favorite bikini. “I’d have to agree with him…she’s taken good care of herself and can still turn heads in a bathing suit. I can see what he meant by her innocence, she still has that in a lot of ways.”

Rick licked the foam from the ale off his upper lip and tried not to choke as he laughed. “Obviously you've not pissed her off. She loses that ‘innocent cherubic’ quality when she’s pissed. Her sister taught her well - both of them can rip your guts out in less than ten words if you’re an asshole.”

Jon nodded knowingly. “Been there, done that…”

“Got the t-shirt, too huh?”

“Oh yeah! She doesn't put up with any of my shit, that’s for sure.” Jon nodded his thanks to the waitress for his fresh ale and took a handful of the mixed nuts placed before them.

Rick raised his glass to Jon in a toast. “You’ll never be bored man…I’ll guarantee you that.”

“True…. I'm anything BUT bored. “ Jon tapped his glass to Rick’s, returning the toast. “I guess that’s one of the things I like about her. There’s not much about her I don’t like actually, except that she works as much as I do and sometimes we’re like two ships passing in the night.”

Rick chewed on the hazelnut he’d picked out of the bowl of nuts and nodded. “How’s she getting along with her ex-boyfriend….the new boss…James something-or-other…what’s his name?”

“I've never heard her mention him….you mean her new boss is her ex?”

What the hell?!

“Yeah…he was a real prick. Man, don’t tell her I even mentioned it. We were all shocked that she’d move across the country, let alone have anything to do with him again. We figured she’d end up back together with him, so the whole family was thrilled that YOU came into the picture. Rock star was preferable to prick, ya know?”

“Great. Thanks for the endorsement. So what’s the story with this James guy?” Jon’s light response wasn't an accurate reflection of his mood but he didn't want to alert Rick to anything. If he realized that this was all news to him, he might not be so willing to give up information. 

“I don’t really remember all the details. It was about the time Robin and I got married so I wasn't really interested in baby sister’s love life woes. But I do recall that he was a real playboy. A few years older than she was, he thought his shit didn't stink. He swept her off her feet and got her into bed, then ran around on her. She was pretty young and totally inexperienced.”  

Fortunately Rick didn't notice the subtle clenching in Jon’s jaw, because the appetizer menu had captured his attention and the beer had loosened his tongue allowing him to continue on his rambling meander down memory lane.  

“Then she met Nick, which we thought was like going from the frying pan into the fire but he turned out to be a good guy…at least to Rachel. If I remember it right, it seems like maybe this James guy came back around right before Rachel and Nick got married and Robin was worried that she’d run out on Nick. But I don’t remember exactly what all went down. Robin was always concerned that Nick was a rebound thing.”

Ho. Lee. Shit!  ‘Saint Nick’ was a rebound?

“So she was into this James guy enough that there was a concern she’d call off her wedding to Nick? That’s hard to imagine because I tend to think of the guy as ‘Saint Nick’, the way she talks about him.” Jon was aware at this point that he was no longer bordering on gossip, which he despised but he’d already crossed well over the border. He knew this was a conversation he should be having with Rachel, not her sister’s husband and smoothly changed the direction of the conversation. “Well, I guess there’s still a lot I don’t know about my girl….in addition to not knowing what to get her for Christmas. Any suggestions?”

“Seriously, dude… I've got all I can handle trying to figure out something to buy for Robin that she doesn't exchange or flat-out return. I usually just go with diamonds.”

Grateful that his pub partner hadn't lingered on the touchy subject, Jon pursued the new topic with enthusiasm. “Diamonds, huh? I was thinking about jewellery…what does she like?”

“I dunno, man, you’ll have to ask Robin that kind of stuff.  I can’t keep up with my OWN woman-I sure as hell can’t keep up with yours….”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The foursome spent the following day touring local vineyards and Jon had found a couple wines he particularly liked, ordering a case of each and bringing several bottles home with them that night. Back at the house, Rachel had gone upstairs to shower while Jon returned phone calls and checked in with his kids. When she returned to the family room, she found a roaring fire in the floor-to-ceiling brick fireplace. The lights were dimmed and yet another bottle of wine was open and breathing on the hearth. Jon, still dressed in jeans and a form fitting charcoal grey sweater, was scrunched into the oversized leather chair with his legs thrown up on the ottoman looking every bit as comfortable as he if slouched in it every night. The image made Rachel wonder if it was the obscene amount of wine they’d consumed that had her already panting for him, or if he really was that picture-perfect.

Jon’s thoughts were mirroring hers. Considering the healthy dose of wine they’d drunk it was a miracle he was still awake but then Rachel strolled through the kitchen into the family room. His breath hitched when he saw how her Henley-style pyjamas clung to her breasts in the most erotic way. It was a perfect example of the innocence Jon and Rick had discussed only the day before – Rachel made no attempt to be sexy, only warm and comfortable. That was one of the things that turned him on the most about her – she had no idea how sexy she was.  

“C’mere.” Jon raised his arm at the elbow to take her hand and gently pull her down on his lap. He looped his arm around her legs and draped them off the opposite armrest. “Fun day, huh?”

“It was! Are you enjoying yourself as much as you seem to be?”

He thought his mouth actually watered at the sight of her lazily laid out across him with the tiniest peek of flesh showing when her pyjama top crept up. “Yeah, I am. I haven’t spent a lot of extended time around here; it’s nothing like L.A…I actually like it here.”

Her mouth just naturally gravitated to his; it wasn't even a conscious thought before she teased him about his well-known love of  'all things wine', a habit she had adopted as well. “You just like all the wineries.”

Fire-warmed fingertips slipped under the burgundy colored Henley top and absently traced circles around her belly button. “Nah, what I really like is day and night with you. Watching you with your family, I'm a little surprised you ever left them. You’re obviously close.”

Rachel nonchalantly shrugged her shoulders. “Back when I left, I just needed to get out of here, I was suffocating. Who knew abandoning my entire life in California for a New Jersey adventure would lead me right back here…and right into your lap?” Her smile was relaxed and warm, lust clearly evident in her eyes. “This job opportunity was a lifesaver…in more ways than one.”  

Jon had a decision to make. He could go down the well-travelled ‘lust’ road or he could take the opening Rachel had presented and bring up the subject that had been quietly nagging at him all day. Trusting his gut he backed the car up and steered it through the opening that would close like an automated garage door if he didn't take it.

“Rick said something about your boss being your ex-boyfriend? You never mentioned that.”  

Rachel reached for the bottle of wine and poured a healthy amount into a single glass and took a sip before she offered it to him. “Oh geez….that’s such ancient history it doesn't even bear wasting our time on.”

“Is that, by chance, the guy with the black Mercedes?” Jon brought the liquid to his lips, finishing it in one swallow and sat the empty glass back on the hearth.  

Rachel’s intentions were obvious, her lips already tracing his jawline when she murmured, “Mm hmm, how did you know that?”

“I've seen his car at your place a couple times.”

She barely noticed or acknowledged the subject of her ex-lover who was now her boss, her attention focused solely on the patch of chest hair protruding from the top of his snug shirt. “And?”

The hand that was already stroking her middle began to slip further up and Jon slid a finger across the side of her breast as he spoke. “And… I didn't like it. I like it even less now that I know his connection to you.” The finger crept to the nipple and circled it. “Which is why I made up my mind to get rid of him months ago.”

Rachel cocked her head and raised an eyebrow. “Oh really? You think you got rid of him huh?”

Thumb and forefinger from one hand pinched the nipple while the other hand slid up the pyjama top from the back. “Oh yeah. Done deal. He’s history.”

It didn't take much to light the fire that seemed to be at a constant simmer these days anyway. Whether it was the wine or the man, Rachel began to squirm on his lap and wanted a lot more of what he was teasing. “You think you've got me all wrapped up, huh? Nobody else is even competition?”

Jon was a little surprised at the sheer delight he took in this woman. He enjoyed her body - that was a no brainer. Her heart was as deep as the ocean and he loved that about her, but he was most enthralled with her witty, devilish little mind and the way it challenged him.   

“No competition at all, baby. From what I saw, you wouldn't give ol’ Jimmy the time of day.” He held up one finger to accentuate his next point. “AND YET… you couldn't even wait to get to a respectable bedroom before you all but raped ME in my own kitchen! I doubt that guy could even get you off for fear he’d mess up his hair.”

A wry smirk formed at Rachel’s lips and she ran a finger across his mouth before pressing further into his body for the softest of kisses. “You’re such an arrogant, cocky thing…You’re not even worried about any other man, are you?”

“Nah. I'm no more worried about another man catching YOUR eye, than you are another woman catching mine.” Jon felt her hand slipping under the hem of his shirt and was surprised at the sameness of her touch…and what a turn on that in and of itself was. “Besides, I have you so hypnotized by the sheer volume and intensity of the sex you’ll never leave me.”

Her tone was dripping with tongue in cheek sarcasm. “You’re right, of course. My life was empty and meaningless before you got me drunk enough to let you have your way with me.”

Jon’s hand moved beneath the elastic of her pyjama pants where he knew he would find confirmation that their original topic of her past love was all but forgotten.

“I did not get you drunk. I only encouraged you to drink so you’d let me do more than kiss you. Which worked out pretty well for me actually, because now I know you don’t require the respectability of an actual bedroom to let me have my way with you!”

Chapter Fifty Five

“You are a Sexual. Fucking. Dynamo. You know that?”

Rachel stood in front of the bathroom mirror looking onto Jon’s reflection as he stepped out of the shower and reached for a towel. She was glad that the light-hearted relationship they so often shared had returned after their official christening of the bedroom but her mouth still gaped open at his declaration of her sexual prowess. Smoothing the last of the moisturiser onto her face, she placed the small pot back in her toiletries bag and regaining her composure, grinned at him in the mirror.

“It amazes me how your mood can so easily be improved with sex. I've never seen anybody use sex as a tension-reliever like you do. You are aware you’re grumpy if you haven’t gotten it in a few days, right?”

Scrubbing dry his hair with the towel and then dropping it to the floor as he always did, Jon shook the remnants of the water from his hair and wrapped his arms cheekily around her waist.  

“Whatever! I don’t know what you do with your mouth, but I like it.” He grabbed her at the hips, pulling her against him before growling, “Just thinking about it gets me worked up. I may have to maul you again before I let you out of the house.”

“Pffh. As many times as you've already mauled me today, it’ll be a miracle if you can get it up again before Thanksgiving.”

“I guarantee… YOU will wear out before I do, little girl.”  Jon locked eyes with her in the mirror with a hint of dare in them, just before he slapped her bare butt and sauntered out of the bathroom.

“OUCH!”

The cocky, playful laughter was unmistakable in his reply as he disappeared into the closet. “You love it!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Rachel had just tied a scarf around her neck, completing her outfit for the second time that day, when the tinkling of piano keys caught her ear. Intrigued, she wandered from the bedroom in search of the captivating melody that was being pulled from the long-silent instrument. As she made her way down the stairs, Jon’s familiar voice joined the melody.

You’re looking for a hero, but it’s just my old tattoo.

Tonight, I swear, I’d sell my soul

To be a hero for you….

Who’s gonna hold you when you turn out the lights?

I won’t lie, I wish that I…could be your Superman tonight.

Stepping lightly from the staircase, Rachel rounded the corner into the living room and was struck by how right this felt. This man, this love…in this house of all places.   

“That’s beautiful.” Leaning against the wall behind the piano listening as the last note lingered in the air, she spoke quietly so as not to startle him. “Is it something you wrote?”

“Yeah, just something I've been fooling with for a while. Actually, since right after I met you.” Jon turned around on the piano bench and spanned her slender waist with his hands and pulled her into him. “You look pretty…” He glanced up toward her face with that all-too familiar sexual glint lighting up his eyes, accompanied by a helping of mischievousness.  “…again.”

Errant fingers found the top of his head and Rachel gently stroked his hair. “Thanks….although I wonder how long it will be before you have these clothes on the floor… again.”

“Not long, but you can keep them on while we’re with your parents. Beyond that I make no promises.” Jon’s nose nuzzled up under the bottom of her sweater for a teasing nibble before he released her with a tap to her bottom. “Ready to go?”

“Yeah…but there’s just one thing I wanna mention. I called my dad to see if he would switch cars with me while we were here. For what it’s worth, he agreed with you.” Rachel rolled her eyes subconsciously. “He says it’s a guy thing.”

With his eyes flying dramatically wide, Jon’s feigned shock was ridiculously exaggerated. “My God, call the Pope because it’s a divine miracle….YOU MEAN I GET TO BE RIGHT????”

“Just this once. Don’t get used to it.” Rachel flicked the top of his head before continuing. “Anyway, he also mentioned that Nick’s brother is selling his BMW so I gave him a quick call. Long story short, we’re trading cars. Scott is thrilled to have his brother’s car and I'm happy to have something that better suits my purposes when I'm out here. We’ll sign the pink slips and make the swap tomorrow at his party.”

Jon was quiet for a moment and when he spoke, his reply was soft. “I overreacted earlier, Rach. It’s fine. You don’t need to do that for me.”

“I'm not doing it for you, sweetie. My reasons are mostly selfish. I want you to be as comfortable here as you wanted me to be in your home…well, homes. But more than that, I want things that represent us and our future … not the past.”

Nodding, Jon acknowledged her reasoning with a soft kiss to her temple. Relationships were all about give and take and too often in the past he’d been guilty of not reciprocating. Now though he was realising compromise was a far better option and it seemed Rachel was too.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The evening was pleasant and Jon had been instantly comfortable with Rachel’s family. Dinner that night was just as Rachel described it, with her mother trying to feed them from the moment they hit the door. It was a typical family get together with good food, fun and conversation with wine from one of the local wineries flowing freely.  It was also apparent that Rachel had been a classic Daddy’s Girl such was the ease they had with each other despite being apart for so long. Jon silently hoped when his own daughter was grown that he would continue to have the same close relationship with her as he had always enjoyed. Unable to escape the Daddy thoughts, he even slipped away for a moment, sending her a text just to say he was thinking of her.  

The main topic of conversation over dinner had been the birth of Robin’s first grandchild and the two sisters talked non stop about the new baby and how excited they were to spend the Thanksgiving holiday with him. Rachel was like a giddy schoolgirl at the mere thought of snuggling up to the new born. Jon, on the other hand, wondered why on earth he was suddenly surrounded by babies and baby talk.

There were even more babies at Scott Braden’s 50th Birthday party the following day. Jon would swear that Rachel managed to hold every last one of them.   

Nick Braden had a remarkable family, Jon would give the guy that much. Walking into a party filled with the relatives and friends of Rachel’s late husband could have – and should have – been uncomfortable and awkward. But it wasn't. The family of the man Jon had felt the tiniest bit threatened by only days ago couldn't have been more kind or welcoming and it made the reality of Rachel’s loss that much more pronounced. This had been her life and her family...the aunts, uncles and grandparents to her children. He couldn't imagine the horror of what this room full of people had endured; it was more than just Rachel. Jon was now acutely aware that Nick Braden had been a living, breathing man with people he loved and who had loved him back.   

“It took balls of steel for you to walk in here, Jon.” Scott gave a warm slap to Jon’s shoulder and smiled kindly and hoped he could swallow down the lump in his throat. “Rachel’s a special woman; you obviously see that, too.”

Jon nodded in acknowledgement and returned the smile. “She’s an incredible lady. I appreciate you and your family welcoming me the way you have. I know it can’t be easy.”

  

The first time he met Rachel, Scott had taken a liking to her which had grown to a natural, familial love and he considered her as much a part of the family as if they shared blood and DNA. The brothers and their families had vacationed in Hawaii over the New Year’s holiday nearly every year and some precious memories had come from those times. But they hadn't needed a luxurious vacation to enjoy each other’s company. Some of their happiest days were the result of an impromptu barbecue with kids running through sprinklers before time and hard work had provided the funds for lavish swimming pools. Hot dogs had been replaced with finer cuts of meat, that was true, but the core of relationship was always based on family and little had changed over the years.  

It was bitter sweet for Scott to see the love of his brother’s life move on with another man. He was happy for Rachel; he knew she’d seen the dark side of hell after the accident. But the elder Braden boy still thought of her as his kid brother’s wife and news of Rachel’s intention to bring her new ‘friend’ into the intimate fold had been met with mixed reactions. It was Nick and Scott’s own mother who had insisted she was “theirs”, a part of the family and it was quickly declared anything – or anyone - that made Rachel happy again would be welcomed with open arms.

It was preserving the family unity that Scott had kept uppermost in his mind as he continued to address Jon. “We love her and while I won’t deny it’s an adjustment to see her with somebody else, it’s good to see the ‘old’ Rachel. You, uh… you've obviously given her her ‘spark’ back. When Nick first fell for her he said she was the first woman he’d ever met he was afraid to lose so I hope you’ll be good to her, because you’re a lucky man to have her.”  

Before he could respond to the heartfelt sentiments of Rachel’s brother-in-law, the woman in question crossed the room and covered Jon’s ears with her hands.  “Whatever he’s telling you is greatly exaggerated. Don’t listen to him!”

Scott was grateful for the interruption from the emotional road he’d been travelling down. The ‘big brother’ talk now over, he affectionately hugged Rachel close to him. “I was telling him that you’re an anal retentive control freak and he’s gonna have to rule you with an iron fist!”

Her half-hearted punch to the arm of Nick’s look-alike brother had Rachel laughing. “I am NOT a control freak and don’t be planting seeds that he needs to ‘rule’ me with anything! Besides, it’s time for us to take off. Being that you’re FIFTY now, I know you need your rest.”

Scott shook his head in amused disgust at the blonde he’d known since she was a teenager. “Oh please! I will never be so old that I can’t rescue YOU from drunken sailors when you've had too much to drink and are threatening to table dance while you fling your bra across Mexican beach bars.”

Rachel’s eyes flew wide open and her hand shot over Scott’s mouth “Shut. Up!!”

Jon had enjoyed the banter between his lover and her brother-in-law but the visual of a drunken Rachel throwing her bra around a bar was one he couldn't imagine. “WHAT????  Oh…this I GOTTA hear!”

Rachel determinedly shook her head and took Jon’s hand to drag him towards the driveway, “Nope…we’re leaving right now!”   

Dangling the keys to his – now her – car toward Jon, Scott kissed the top of Rachel’s head while addressing Jon. “I’ll tell you all sorts of stories when you’re here for our Thanksgiving gathering on Wednesday ….I have a feeling you need to know OUR Rachel a little better.”

Accepting the keys with one hand and extending the other for a warm handshake Jon was filled with gratitude for the blessings he’d had in his life. He’d never known real tragedy or loss. Even in his divorce he had retained a closeness that he cherished with Dorothea. “Thanks for a great evening, man. Looking forward to hearing some stories on our girl, here.”

Chuckling at the look of horror on Rachel’s face as she practically dragged him to the car, he waved his farewell to the rest of the Braden family. Thanksgiving looked like being extra fun this year.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The flurry of non-stop activity coupled with the draining emotional baggage of their trip made Jon and Rachel grateful for the simple pleasure of some time alone as they sat soaking in the hot tub with a bottle of wine later that night.   

“It seems that you had… have…. a great relationship with your in-laws. They obviously adore you as much as you do them. Great people…”

“Yeah…they’re wonderful. We've had a lot of fun over the years. Even with Nick’s dad being such a nightmare, we always managed to have a good time.” Rachel took another sip of her wine before setting the glass to the side. “You were quite the charming gentleman tonight. Do you practice that smile in the mirror?  That can’t be natural you know?  Nobody can look that good without trying.”

Jon offered a cockily raised eyebrow and stretched his arms lazily to the edge of the spa;

“Nope…that’s just me bein’ me. All natural charm….” To prove his point, the famous ‘megawatt’ smile was flashed and he snickered when Rachel’s palm came to her face. He had easily affected her from all the way across the tub. “C’mere…you’re too far away over there.”

Sloshing through the warm water as she snuggled into Jon’s side, Rachel peppered his jaw with soft kisses. “You’ll notice how I jumped when you called.”

“I wouldn't expect anything less….don’t make me use my iron fist on you!” Unable to resist a quick tease from earlier, Jon grinned down at her. “So…what’s on our agenda tomorrow? Shopping in San Francisco, right? Christ, I need a tour manager just to keep up with the schedule out here!”

“Yeah. Christmas shopping in the City and then dinner. If you’ll back off on the ‘rock star’ look a little bit, we could probably pull it off without too many people recognizing you, right?”

“Whaddya mean ‘back off on the rock star look’? I blend right in with everybody else.”

“Seriously? You believe that? The ‘rock star’ chains and sunglasses…you do NOT ‘blend in’…you stand out.”

“It’s not the necklace and sunglasses that make me stand out, baby…. I'm just so damned handsome…it’s hard to ugly me up, ya know? But I think we can make it work…I’ll skip shaving and put a pillow under my shirt to camouflage my incredibly sexy body…”

Their comfortable relationship had become even more so with the added bonus of a heightened confidence between them. There was a depth to them now that could have only come about with time and a rocky road or two.  

“Don’t skip shaving…it only makes you look ten times hotter and it draws more attention to you.”

Jon laughed loud and hard at the apparent seriousness of her declaration. “Only YOU would describe me as ‘ten times hotter’ when I fail to shave.” Curling his arm around her neck, he drew her closer to his chest and kissed the top of her head. “Even though you have to wake up to this stubbly face and bed-head hair…you still stick around.”

The tone and volume of her response was quiet as she nuzzled against his wet chest. “I love waking up with you….almost as much as I love going to sleep with you. It feels so good to…well, feel good again but I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop and the bottom to fall out of this.”

“You’re waiting for the bottom to fall out of what? Us? Not happenin’, babe.”

“I know it sounds ‘doom and gloom’….and I never used to think like that…but I just can’t believe I’d find this kind of happiness…and get to keep it. It’s hard to relax and just enjoy it. There’s this tiny, nagging voice that tells me not to get used to it.”

Jon loosened his hold on her and turned so he could see those eyes that had become so familiar.

“You’re serious! Why don’t you talk to me about this stuff? I'm not goin’ anywhere and neither are you. We've earned the good times, Rachel…we put in our time when we first met and paid our dues.”

  

He recalled their rocky start and how it almost didn't move beyond a one-night stand. “I think both of us had a few moments in the beginning that we were just about as happy to walk away as we were to stay, but there was something that told us to stay in the game. I understand your history makes you a little skittish….but that’s the past…it’s just old baggage. Don’t look back, Rachel…let it go.”

Chapter Fifty Four

Buckling up for landing at the small regional airport near Rachel’s home in California, Jon ran his fingers through his hair to tidy the messy locks back into something that didn't blatantly announce his carnal activities during the flight.

“You better hope this real estate thing works out baby, because the FAA would sure as hell fire you as a flight attendant for the shenanigans you pulled while in the air today.”

“Are you complaining about the service on this flight, sir?"

A bawdy laugh came from the depths of his chest and he was vaguely reminded he’d been laughing a lot lately. “Hardly.  I don’t recall a cross-country flight passing so quickly before.  I’d love to get you on a flight to Tokyo. Or Australia!" Flashes of pure evil ran through his mind and, with a lustful grin, Jon closed his eyes and crossed himself. "Oh yeah…The things you could do to me by the time we’d make Australia!”

Rachel pressed her lips together to blend the lipstick she’d applied, “Wait until you see what Mrs. Claus has in mind for the Christmas run next month.”

Winding his arm around Rachel’s neck, Jon pulled her into him for an affectionate kiss. “You gonna have a little ‘ho ho ho’ action for me there, Mrs. Claus?”

“Mmmm. You never know what might turn up in your Christmas stocking.”

Eyes narrowed, Jon drew the air in between his teeth and hissed, “You…in stockings. Jesus, Lord…I may have the pilot file the flight plan from Jersey to California via Russia. I could get into this whole dual-family, bi-coastal holiday thing.”

Rachel snorted a little and raised her eyebrows at him wryly. “Yeah if the fuel costs weren't
bankrupting you!”

“Right…you’re definitely the most expensive piece of tail I've ever had….but what a ride it is.” Jon cupped her chin and kissed her softly, “and worth every penny I might add.”

Rachel laughed softly at the realization that all men really were alike and rolled her eyes before she could stop herself.  “I'm sure my father will be delighted that you find my tail worth the tens of thousands of dollars it’s costing to transport it for the holidays.”

“Honey, if your father knew what your tight little tail was doing to warrant it being worth those many tens of thousands of dollars he’d have me arrested and you locked up for sure.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The cab they’d taken from the airport meandered the love birds through the small, vineyard dotted community of Livermore, California. Jon knew he was in the right place when the property adjacent to the airport was planted in grapes and the up-scale nature of the neighborhood and surrounding wineries wasn't lost on him. Tearing his gaze away from the window, he smirked down at Rachel nestled comfortably against his shoulder.

“Well, you’re not exactly broke are you, little girl?”

Rachel’s face crumpled into a frown as she twisted to look up at him, “Whatever made you think I was broke?”

“I didn't….but I didn't expect Hearst Castle either.”

“Oh please….this place is probably smaller than one floor of your city apartment.” Grinning, Rachel relaxed back against his firm chest and resumed her gaze out the window at the passing scenery.

While Rachel unlocked the front door and disarmed the alarm, Jon paid the driver and carried the bags through the massive front door with side panels of leaded glass. The first thing to catch his eye was the black baby grand piano in the formal living room which sat at an angle next to a white marble fireplace.

“Who plays the piano?”

“Lauren and I did. I paid for lessons for Tyler – a complete waste of money - he was all about football.”

The house itself was beautiful, Jon immediately noted. The entryway was open to the second floor with the formal living room to the left and a formal dining room to the right. Dark hardwood floors accented the patterned carpet, making it stylish and elegant while still being comfortable and warm - just like Rachel.

“I never knew you played the piano.”

“Well, I can’t sell out Madison Square Garden, but I can tear up anything from “Saturday Night Fever.  C’mon…let’s get settled in and I’ll show you MY little world.”

Tossing the strap to his bag over his shoulder and carrying hers in the other hand, Jon followed Rachel up the carpeted staircase. Along the wall were two large frames holding a trio of pictures of each of the children.  First as babies, then toddlers and finally what he assumed had been current pictures at the time of their deaths.

Eyes drifting further up ahead, he found that at the top of the staircase was enshrined an enormous portrait of Rachel and Nick on their wedding day.  The parts of the house that he'd seen so far were understated, but this thing was far from understated.  It made a loud proclamation as to who the King of this castle was.

When Jon crested the stairs and  veered to the right,  in through the double-door entry to the master suite, he was surprised at the vastness of the room. The enormous kind-size bed commanded attention and couldn't be overlooked.  Nor could the picture on the night stand - of Rachel’s husband holding a newborn. Jon kept pictures of Dorothea and their children in his house, mostly for the sake of his children, but now he wondered if it made Rachel as uncomfortable as he felt in the same position. He didn't know if it was jealousy or a foreign sense of insecurity that had welcomed him into this room. Proof of Rachel’s life with another man was already engulfing him and he’d barely seen the place. She had loved and been loved here.

And Jon discovered he didn't like that realization one bit.

When Rachel had finished opening the shutters in the room and returned to his side, Jon pushed behind her ear the strand of fly-away hair that always seemed to be hanging from her blonde locks. “Would you be more comfortable if we…or I…stayed in a hotel?”

Eyebrows furrowed, Rachel shook her head firmly. “No! Not at all. This is no different than me being in your house.”

Rock star or not, at this moment, Jon Bon Jovi was just a man - in another man’s domain. He felt like an intruder.  Like he didn't belong here…or had no right to be here. It wasn't a familiar feeling.

He wasn't in  high school any more, the one place in the world  where he’d been an outsider. He could command the attention of thousands upon thousands of people with just a shake of his hips, for crying out loud!

“It’s a lot easier to understand what you meant about the ghosts of the past….now that the shoe is on the other foot.”

Rachel’s voice was quiet and tender when she slid her hands up his chest and gazed into his troubled eyes. “I'm happy you’re here.”  She kissed his mouth with a softness that contradicted the firmness in her fingertips at his neck. “I'm happy, period.  For the first time in a long time, it feels good to be in this house.   Now what I need is for you to be happy here with me. All of this…..” she swept her hands to motion toward the bed, “…..all this is brand new.  It's just for us - you and me - and tonight it deserves a proper Christening. Think you can handle that?”

The playful teasing in her eyes combined with the seductive tone in her voice was intended to comfort him. Jon knew that. He wouldn't disappoint her for anything in the world and that's why he tried his damnedest to follow her lead and match the light-hearted tone.  “Why don’t you finish showing me around the place before you start trying to get me naked, hmm?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

                                                                              

After a  brief tour of the upstairs that only gave a  passing glance to the children’s rooms, they made their way through the rest of the  house and finally to the kitchen and family room.  He would bet visitors to the Braden home were immediately captivated by the view from these rooms - who wouldn't be drawn in by a massive pool, spa and a fireplace that would have been to scale with most small resorts?

But Jon didn't give it any more than a swift glance.

His attention was captured by something far more ordinary -  the oversized leather chair and scuffed ottoman.  Nondescript and past its usefulness by some standards, it had obviously belonged to the man he’d formerly thought of as “Saint Nick”. 

Now?   Now, the ghost of “King Nick” seemed to be nipping at his heels with every step, and his throne took its own fair-sized bite.  

“That’s some pool you've got.” The blindly polite observation fairly leapt out of Jon’s mouth in an effort to stop himself from completing his thoughts about the deceased Mr Braden.

“It ain't exactly the Navesink River but it serves its purpose. I had the spa heated up…think I can tempt you for a soak later?”

Rachel was happy, or at least happier than Jon had seen her. Ever.  Happy on her turf, and he almost resented it.

She’d been warm and gracious while in his home and with his family, so why was he having such a hard time feeling the same?  She deserved that much and if he couldn't actually feel it, he was going to have to put those acting classes to good use or risk making Rachel  as uncomfortable as he was.

The flirty grin came easily to Jon; he used it a hundred times each night on stage. “It almost sounds as if you’re trying to seduce me, Ms. Braden.”

Based on the flash in his girl’s eyes, it was every bit as effective on her as it was the fans. But then the flash faded and he was immediately aware that she knew him better than he realized.  She immediately could see through his feigned enthusiasm, but Rachel continued to play along.

“If it only ‘almost’ sounds like I'm trying to seduce you Mr. Bongiovi then I'm being entirely too subtle.”

“Shocking….. considering your total lack of subtlety on the plane.”

The smirk that came as second nature to him indicated that Jon was warming up to his surroundings. Rachel knew the best way to totally thaw her man was with wine. Lots of it. “Well, I guess I can luxuriate in the hot tub with a glass of wine by myself if you’re getting all shy on me.”

Shoulders and face relaxed, Jon ran his fingers up under her sweater while his thumbs brushed across her middle.  His natural appeal came front and center, where he was most comfortable.

“Am I going to need a glass of wine and a soak in the spa after dinner with your family tonight?”

Mission accomplished, Rachel was sure he was over his jitters. “No…but you’ll probably want to plan for an extra-long workout tomorrow….my mother will feed you the minute you step foot in the door and won’t let up until we leave.  If you’re ready, I’d love to head on over there.”

“Sure, let’s go.” The horny teenager that she knew and loved  in Jon carried on, “The sooner I get you there, the sooner I can bring you back here for that wine-laced romp in the hot tub.”

The sliding glass door had been secured and Rachel was fluffing the pillows on the sofa as she rolled her eyes at Jon’s never-ending sex talk. “My parents’ house isn't far, only about 5 minutes. Car keys are on the hook next to the door. I'm just gonna run upstairs and get my purse.  Be right there.”

Jon watched with a relaxed,  indulgent smile as the whirlwind that Rachel had become virtually skipped across the room and up the stairs.  She was anxious to see her family and he was feeling more at ease. The promise of an early evening and sipping wine with a naked Rachel in the spa had done wonders for his irrational insecurity.

He absently grabbed the key ring off the hook, and opened the door leading to the garage.  Pushing the button to raise the garage door, he muttered good naturedly to himself, “I guess that means I'm driving, huh?”

No more than two minutes later, Rachel bounded into the garage only to find him rooted to the center of the floor, with a frozen expression.  It came close to  matching the coldness in his eyes and the icy, almost accusatory tone when he demanded,  “Was this your husband’s car? The key chain has an “N” on it.  Was this Nick’s car?”

“Yeah….I didn't replace my car after the accident.”

Jon held the keys out to her and shook his head resolutely.  “I'm not driving the guy’s car Rachel! I'm sleeping with his wife in his house, but I draw the line at driving his car.”

Rachel stared at him in amazement. “You’re being silly.”

Jon shrugged his shoulders and held his ground, stubborn as always. “Whatever.  I'm NOT driving his car. Trust me, he’d like that even less than me sleeping with his wife.”

Rachel thought he was just being a jerk.  The rolling of her eyes, followed by her own stubborn silence conveyed the message quite clearly, because the ice melted a bit and he sought the words that would smooth this situation over.

“Look Rachel, if your husband were absent because you divorced, this would be a totally different thing….but the guy’s dead! The only reason we’re together is HE’S dead. It’s a guy thing.  In this situation driving another guy’s car is taboo!  Just trust me.”

She stepped in, placing her leg between his and pulled him as close as was physically possible with a firmness that relayed she meant business.

“The only reason we’re together is because we want to be. Circumstances brought me to you, that’s true enough, but I've already told you...as much as I loved Nick and our life, I can’t imagine missing out on you and me.” Her fingernails scraped through the hair at his temple as she kissed him. “ I'm not anybody’s wife any more.  This is a house I shared with my family, yes, but I hope you and I will make our own memories here, just like we have in your home.”

Jon felt her love, felt her need to soothe his discomfort, and he loved her that much more for it. He kissed the top of her head with a soft sigh.

“I’m not an insecure guy Rach, and if he were alive he wouldn't even be on my radar. I think the circumstances of this whole thing just became more real when we got here.  I had the reality of you loving somebody else slap me in the face as soon as we walked in the door. The reality of somebody loving you…..And it made me a little possessive, that’s all. I'm sorry.  It’ll be fine.”

He felt her wind her arms around his waist.   He saw the sincerity in her eyes just before they started to tear up and then he heard her speak the most soul-baring words yet.  

“Jon...I told you the other night that I've never loved anyone like I love you. Not with the passion or the depth that I love you.  Don’t make me elaborate on that.  I don’t have the heart to lessen what I had with Nick and our family.”

And there it was.   Confirmation that he was her number one. 

Without her saying the words, Jon realized what she was telling him and he knew he would never ask her to go down that road again. She loved him more than she had anyone else. He knew that wasn't an easy thing for her to admit to herself, let alone to him. She loved him enough to want him to know he was King of her castle, wherever that might be.

The kiss started out as a silent, healing acknowledgement between them. Then the emotional road they’d just crossed quickly took it to a more passionate, almost desperate tangling of arms, hands and mouths.

Jon vocalized what his mind had been screaming in between hot, feverish kisses, “Too bad your parents are expecting us…”

Eyes fluttered open, frowning at the interruption of her hand’s desperate search for his skin.    The frown was followed quickly by the mischievousness of Rachel that became more evident with each passing day.   “My parents don’t even know we've landed yet…”

“You don’t say….”

Taking her hand, he guided her through the garage door and into the kitchen, punching the button to seal the outside garage door on his way.

It was interesting how the house looked and felt different to him.  While they’d been in the garage, Ghostbusters had come and cleaned the place out, leaving nothing but a home where the two of them would make happy, hot and horny memories.  

It left only one serious matter hanging over their heads:    Christening the bedroom.

Chapter Fifty Three

The vacant space in the bed beside him, although still somewhat warm, dragged Jon reluctantly from his deep slumber as his arm searched unconsciously for Rachel’s familiar frame. Groaning softly when his arm made a clean sweep of the mattress in a fruitless search, he flopped over onto his belly and burrowed deeper into the pillow while his brain slowly flickered to life. Waking up in a bed with Rachel’s side empty and cold was not how he had planned on starting the day. He much preferred having her warm and willing body wound around him to accept his faithful morning hard on. The only upside to being alone was the opportunity to recall every detail of the previous night’s encounter without getting distracted by his morning playmate’s pawing at him, replacing the old memories with new ones.

Rachel was a morning sex kind of girl. Sex and coffee were certain to put a smile on her face, and it didn't seem to matter which order they came in. He liked that little habit of hers a lot. If she had gotten up early enough to forego her morning fix Jon wondered what kind of mood she might be in. Last night she had finally given herself completely and totally to him and rolling onto his back to stare up at the ceiling he rubbed the stubble on his chin, grinning at the recollection. Rachel was not one to quickly let her guard down, neither was he, so that was easy for him to relate to. He was getting turned on just remembering how lost she got during their sexcapades last night, so lost in fact that she told him her most guarded thoughts and feelings. 

But babies? 

His pleasant grin was replaced with a slight frown at the thought of Rachel wanting children. With him, or by him. Whatever. 

His four children were the most cherished people in his life and he loved having children. He enjoyed kids…his and a few that belonged to friends or family. But he’d thought he was long done having babies. The subject was one he had intentionally asked her about while they were vacationing in the Hamptons, early in their relationship. Rachel had told him no, that the time for her to have children was long past but her highly aroused state last night had given him a different answer. However, that aroused state had also allowed her to admit she loved him.

Jon couldn't blame her for wanting more children under her circumstances. He was certain she was a natural at motherhood, and to have lost not only her husband but both children in one horrific accident…well, he knew he would be a total ass to deprive her of that. He’d do anything to make her happy or ease her loss.

BUT BABIES?  SOOO not on the agenda.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The only thing Rachel enjoyed more than coffee and CNN to start her day was coffee and sex to start her day. This morning she’d had to settle for CNN and the stock reports while she sipped coffee at the kitchen breakfast bar and looked over emails on her laptop. Last night’s festivities had been exhausting. Physically and emotionally. Sexually satisfying, certainly…that was nothing new. She had a sexual chemistry with Jon that any college co-ed would be envious of. 

Letting go of herself to fully accept and return Jon’s love had meant letting go of the past on some level deeper than she’d experienced before. While he had fallen into a deep sleep, punctuated only by the occasional ‘puffing’ sound his lips sometimes made as he exhaled, Rachel had found it impossible to do anything more than doze. All night long, movies of her past life replayed in her head…and not just vague memories, these were on a high-definition big screen, complete with surround theatre sound and on a continuous loop. The sense of sadness and loss often stronger than the sense of joy at this new love she’d found.

It really is darkest just before the dawn.

Grateful for the peeking of the Eastern sun as it rose, Rachel had risen with it, attempting to shake off the remnants of grief which had taunted her all night. The skies were cloudy and grey which, oddly enough, only served to remind her that there was a rainbow hidden in them somewhere.

“I wondered if you ran away on me.”

Jon’s voice behind her broke the train of thought and Rachel’s lips curved into a smile, willing herself back into the present. His scruffy chin edged her hair away from one side of her neck to kiss it while his arms wrapped around the other side and squeezed. Rachel reached her arm behind and past her head to tunnel her fingers into his bed-head mop of hair and affectionately tickled at his neck before turning her barstool to meet his face.

“Nope. You said you’d chase me to the ends of the earth if I did so there didn't seem to be much point…..Coffee?”

Jon greeted her with a kiss to her forehead and stroke of her hair, “I’ll get it.”  Bare feet padded around the kitchen island and as he retrieved a mug from the cabinet Rachel absently wondered why his feet were never cold, before he moved on to the coffee pot. 

“You’re up awfully early.”

“Yeah, I woke up and then my mind kicked in, I finally just decided to get a head start on the day.”

“Have time for coffee with me?” 

Rachel scooted off her barstool and walked with him into the family room, “I’ll always make time for you.”  She tucked her socked feet under her as she eased down on the sofa, “Looks like rain today…”

Jon had picked up the remote control to turn on the gas fireplace before he glanced out the French doors and beyond the deck, “It does….wish we could play hookie and laze in front of this fire watching old movies all day.”

This was what she loved about being in love. Ordinary, mundane conversation about the weather over a cup of coffee. It beat grand, romantic gestures every time.

Jon flopped down beside her and casually laid his arm across her leg to give a loving pat to the top of her thigh, “So…do you still love me this mornin’?”

Her eyes were focused on the slightly grey hair above his ears as she tried to smooth the hair he woke with, “I love you as much this morning as I have for many mornings.”

The fingers on her thigh slid into the back of her knee for a squeeze, “Niiiice….you didn’t even flinch, baby.”

His crinkled eyes and scrunched nose when he made the comment transformed his insane good looks into dorky and sweet...and completely the opposite of his carefully crafted public image. Rachel found him adorable and completely irresistible.

“I know I've been a little…reserved but I really am working on that. Blind faith? That doesn't come easily to me. But YOU……” Rachel fondly jabbed a finger into his ribs to bring her point home, “YOU have to stop playing me like one of your guitars. You have a disturbing ability to get me to say things I wouldn't ordinarily even think.”

Jon slurped the hot coffee before asking for clarification, “Like?”

“Like I want dozens of babies with you….insane!”

Jon wondered if he should let the comment pass or grab it by the horns and go for it. Rachel seemed relaxed and at ease. 

May as well throw caution to the wind…

“I don’t wanna piss you off…but obviously babies sounded pretty appealing to you last night…. How about we deal with it instead of acting like it was some insane thought now that the light of day is here.”

He briefly held his breath when Rachel got up to refill their coffee cups. Slip sliding across the polished floor in her socks, she handed his cup back to him with raised brows.

“Oh, c’mon Jon! You know the things people say in the throes of hot sex can’t be considered rational. The way you and I communicate in bed would never be part of a conversation we had outside of the bed.”

“Maybe it should be. We speak very easily and naturally to each other IN bed, we always have. It’s outside of bed we sometimes walk on eggshells."

Jon accepted the full cup from her outstretched arm, pausing to take a sip of the steaming brew;

“Pillow talk is like liquor talk, at least in my opinion….you usually get the absolute truth. There’s nothing wrong with you wanting another baby or a couple of them. Hell, even I can understand why you’d want that.”

“I already told you, Jon, getting pregnant in my twenties was nearly impossible. At forty one, I'm too old now for sure.”

Relieved that she’d shown no signs of being uncomfortable with the conversation, Jon relaxed a little and shrugged.

“Dorothea was still having kids in her forties… a lot of women do. Especially these days.”

Settling back on the sofa beside him, Rachel turned to face him.

“Honey, just as a side note….I realise you have incredibly fond and respectful feelings about your former wife which is great, but you seem to hold her as the epitome of what every woman should be. The comparisons to her are a little disconcerting. Not a big deal…just want you to be aware of it.”

“You misunderstand what I'm getting at. Some of the things we talk about? My only point of reference is Dorothea. We had kids in our forties so that’s why I mentioned her. Simple as that. But my real point was that you’re NOT too old for more kids if that’s what you want…and I can certainly see why it would be.”  Jon rubbed the vein at the corner of his forehead, wondering if it was starting to bulge with the headache that began to creep in. “The reality with you, Rach, is that you play things so close to the vest getting you to open up is hard. And then when you do open up you pull back most of the time or totally run away….it’s like two steps forward and one step back sometimes.  It makes it hard to know what it is you truly need from me and this relationship.”

The silence hung in the hair for a few seconds, Jon uncomfortably wondered if he’d pushed too hard and she was about to withdraw…or worse…were they in for a brawl?

Rachel took a sip from her cup as she considered what he’d said, then drew in a long breath, 

“Okay….I’ll work on that.”

She could have knocked him over with a feather.

Shock turned to delight and Jon leaned closer to give her lips a surprised smacker of a kiss;

“Well, well, well! Who are YOU and what have you done with MY Rachel?”

Blushing Rachel fondly pushed him away and gazed into the dark swirl of coffee still steaming from the cup cradled in her fingers.

“I'm sorry. I know I've not always been easy to deal with and you've been so patient with me but this thing with you? It’s like jumping out of an air plane for me…it’s been scary. Allowing myself to feel for you forces me out of the safe place I created to cope. It’s like I said, just letting go and falling for you heart and soul is like standing on the edge of the Empire State Building and trusting that you’ll swoop in, cape and all, and catch me before I hit the ground.”

Lifting the sleeve of his t-shirt to show her the faded Superman tattoo, Jon couldn't resist a cocky smirk.  “I’ll catch you…”

The first sign Rachel was giving careful consideration to what she was going to say next came in the form of her chewing on the corner of her lip. Her furrowed brows were the next.

“Okay, then. Since you want me to have all this blind faith, here goes nothing.” She drew in a nervous breath before continuing, “Last night? The thought of forever with you was amazing, but the thought of having a child again – our child – was nothing short of euphoric for me. It felt like the most pure, highest form of love. It brought such intense happiness that I can’t even describe it.”

If he hadn't known he loved her before, Jon would've known for sure when he saw the emotion in her eyes and felt a glimmer of the pain she’d endured. He realized now what he’d watched happen within Rachel the night before wasn't some form of exorcism or sexual inability. 

It was healing. 

His voice was soft, his touch tender when he spoke, “You don’t have to describe it. I was there. I saw what it did to you…where it took you.”

Rachel never broke eye contact with him, only granting him a sheepish smile, “You’re probably going to regret encouraging all this blind faith…… I guess I'm wondering now if more children is even an option with you?”

Jon looked absently at the fireplace wondering if the thermostat was working properly. All of a sudden, the room was feeling uncomfortably hot.

“Physically, yeah. At least as far as I know - I never had any problem in the past, the first two kids were conceived on the first try. Jake was a surprise and Romeo was because we didn't want Jake to grow up alone, and he wasn't much effort to conceive either.”

“What about beyond ‘physically’? Would you want more kids?”

And there it was: The proverbial fork in the road. 

Jon thought he could actually hear the blood rushing through his head as he searched for the words to convey what he was feeling.

“Honestly, I don’t know if I even want to get married again, let alone have more kids. I was thinking about that this morning. You deserve to have that, if you want it and I’d be a heartless, selfish bastard to deprive you of it, I know that. Starting over with little ones again changes things in my world. I'm gone a lot….it’s fine when kids are little, but eventually they’re in school and they have their own lives, their own interests. They don’t WANT to travel with dad…even when they can and a mother isn't inclined to leave her kids with nannies to jet set with dad the rock star, ya know? It changes things all the way around.” 

Jon pulled Rachel closer to nestle into his side and kissed her temple before asking, “Would it be a deal breaker for you? No marriage … no kids?”

“Jon! Until mere hours ago when you drove me to declare my undying love and desire to have a bunch of kids with you – none of it was even on my radar.”  Rachel’s laughter indicated a lightness she wasn't sure she actually felt, but it was a better perception than him sensing how disappointed she was.

 

“Kids…??? Probably not a deal breaker, but now I don’t know. I guess if it were important to me I’d want it to be important to the man I loved and as for marriage? I loved being married….and I doubt I’d want to spend the rest of my life as some guy’s girlfriend.”

Silence descended around them as they both stared at the flickering blue and amber flames of the gas fire. They’d covered more ground in the past ten minutes than they had in their entire relationship to date and the intensity of it was starting to wear them both.

Jon sighed softly and looked down at the nest of blonde waves that were nestled against his shoulder.

“Maybe we should table the heavy stuff for now and talk about the holidays?”

Sitting up, Rachel nodded, relief that they were moving onto another subject evident in her enthusiasm.

“I was thinking about that this morning, my brother in law’s fiftieth birthday is the weekend before Thanksgiving and I want to be there for that but Nick’s family always had their traditional family dinner on the night before Thanksgiving so we could all eat leftovers and watch football all day. If you had a couple of days, you could come with me and still be back here with your kids – or I could try grab a red-eye on Wednesday night and be back here before dinner on Thanksgiving – would that work?”

“Yeah, actually I could stay with you until after dinner and we could fly back together that night, assuming your family wouldn't be uncomfortable with me on the scene?”

“I’ll go over it with them and if it’s a problem we can rethink that plan……” Taking a sip from her cup, Rachel grimaced at the now cold taste of coffee. “So what about Christmas? We normally do a family dinner on Christmas Eve and open gifts that night so I could still be with you by Christmas morning if that’s what you want, or sometime later that night?”

Jon stretched his legs out in front of him as he thought out a plan. “Our thing is Christmas morning and dinner that night so if we don’t mind flying cross country during the night, that sounds workable…… at least we’d be guaranteed some private time with just the two of us on the plane..”

Rachel’s eyes brightened with mischief. “Hmm…… that could be a lot of fun… our own little holiday celebration at 30,000 feet! I've always fantasised about being a flight attendant….”

Chuckling Jon shook his head at her. There it was, her infectious sense of adventure that kept drawing him back, time and time again. No matter what they faced together in the future, life with Rachel would never be dull, he was sure of that.

Chapter Fifty Two

Richie let the door to his room close quietly behind him, thankful that the Madison Square Garden DVD was nearing completion.  God knew he had been more than ready to leave the studio after another long day spent dealing with Jon and his perfectionist tendencies.   By the time they’d finished for the day, Richie was ready for an evening out with Rachel, whom Richie had affectionately referred to all day as “The Neighbor”.  Partly because it would certainly lessen his friend’s anal retentive mood, and partly because it turned out Jon’s latest flavour of the month was a gal Richie enjoyed hanging out with.

 

At the restaurant tonight, Rachel had proven she was capable of an actual conversation, an intelligent conversation no less, and while she’d been interested in getting to know him, never once was there a hint of flirtation.  She was obviously familiar with and fond of Jon, but she had scarcely paid him any attention, focusing most of it on Richie himself.  When the subject of the holidays had come up, he’d told her of his plans to spend Thanksgiving in California with his ex-wife AND her new boyfriend for the sake of their daughter. “The Neighbor” had been impressed with Richie’s efforts to maintain good relations with his former in-laws, and took the opportunity to reveal that her holiday plans mirrored his.

  

Relaxed by the vats of wine that had flowed freely throughout their dinner and the ensuing evening back at the house, Jon had been content to sit back and allow the other two to carry the conversation for the most part.  That is, until Rachel’s casual declaration that she was spending Thanksgiving with her late husband’s family. Richie saw the familiar blue eyes snap sharply to life from across the table, knowing that his friend was completely blind sided by the blonde’s holiday plans. Or didn't approve of them. Or both. 

Sometimes, Richie was grateful to crawl in bed alone at the end of the evening.  Nobody to hold him accountable. Nobody to chastise him for having had too much to drink. Nobody to hassle him about his holiday plans with the ex. Richie knew what was ahead of him tonight: a hot shower, a warm bed and a reasonably peaceful night’s sleep. He also knew that Rachel’s night might not be nearly so simple or pleasant. After thirty years, he could read Jon’s body language as easily as the articles in Playboy, and tonight’s article was short and sweet. Jon wasn't on board with “The Neighbor’s” Thanksgiving plans. Not even close. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“I didn't know you planned to go back to California for the holidays. I assumed we’d spend them together.” 

Jon had just stepped out of shower, while Rachel had done the same from the bathtub. As soon as they’d gotten home from dinner with Richie, she’d filled the immense tub to enjoy a long soak while Jon called his kids and checked out with them for the night. Now they were finishing up their nightly routine, which had become…routine. She took a bath. He took a shower. He took the pillows off the bed while she hung up his towel, which he never managed to do, instead simply leaving it on the floor. Night after night they stood in the marble bathroom together sharing moments from their day. It was almost always a playful time as they maneuvered around each other, their nakedness sometimes getting in the way of their best intentions to make it to bed early.  

“This kinda goes back to our conversation last night….I can’t read your mind, sweetie. If you want me to know what’s going on in there you have to tell me,” Rachel teased as she squeezed the toothpaste onto her toothbrush, then handed the tube off to Jon.

Loading his own toothbrush with the paste, Jon considered the best way to approach the conversation.  A few minutes of brushing and the silence in the bathroom broken only by the sounds of water and the swooshing of teeth being brushed, he decided the direct approach would be the best. He spit into the sink and, without bothering to rinse or wipe his mouth, declared matter-of-factly, 

“Okay, I want you here, with me, for the holidays. How’s that?” 

Bending to rinse, he then wiped the residual water from his mouth with the back of his hand and looked into the mirror. It was time for his favourite show. 

Rachel pumped the body lotion into her palm, rubbing her hands together to make the creamy concoction easier to distribute evenly over her skin. He knew next she’d lift her leg onto the side of the bathtub and rub the lotion over it in a small movement that always did something to him. The way her body moved in that position made her almost irresistible to him.  

“Have you thought that through?” she asked absently, completely unaware of how this particular ritual captivated him.  “If I were in your shoes, having children, I'm not sure I’d want the new boyfriend involved in my family holidays until things were… further along.”

She didn't pause from her after bath routine, gracefully switching from one leg to the other, and Jon paused to prop his naked butt against the marble counter top not wanting to miss a minute of the erotically innocent show taking place in her bathroom.  

“I dunno, Rachel. Do you see this thing between us as temporary? Because I don’t. If I did, I’d never have involved my kids in the first place.”  

As unconcerned with his nudity as she was, he crossed his legs at the ankles and arms across his chest, getting comfortable. It wouldn't be long before she would move on to slathering her arms. After that – thank you Jesus – she would run her hands over her breasts, carefully applying that lotion over each fleshy swell, paying extra attention to the aureoles and nipples. It was his favourite part of the ritual.

She never glanced up, and offered him only the slightest of shrugs.

"I'm not much of a future planner these days. I live more in the moment than I used to."

Jon was puzzled by her response, enough to distract him from the show she unconsciously performed.    He frowned at the contradiction in how she’d described her past life and what she was telling him now.

 

“You said you had your future planned out and that you and Nick always had a ‘life plan’….”

“But I also told you that when he and the kids died the future was a black hole. I don’t want to plan my future around you, not knowing what you have in mind. It’s not something we've ever talked about.”

Blending the last of the body lotion into her hands and arms, she cut him only the briefest of glances as she moved onto the next phase of her routine. The porn factor of her post-bath ritual was gone once she started with all the lotions and potions she used on her face and neck. But it wasn't the lack of porn factor that had Jon wondering if she intentionally avoided touching him as she returned to the sink to start on the boring stuff. 

“What do you have in mind for us, Rach?”

His question hung in the air while she silently went through the army of little jars and bottles one after the other. The last of the cream was carefully dabbed around her eyes, and Jon knew she’d cap the tube and drop it into the drawer. She would complete her beauty regimen with a final wipe down of the counter top. Impatient for her answer, he nonetheless was aware of the difference when something in her body language changed as she crossed the room and came to a stop in front of him.

Rachel’s shoulders were noticeably more relaxed and when she tipped her face to his, Jon could see her eyes held their familiar affection for him.  She was free of make up and took on a look of fragility that reflected the events of her life and loss in recent years. But in that was an innocence that Jon couldn't get enough of. Her hands ran down his stomach and traced the “V” along the region, a body part she’d shown particular favoritism to.

“Right now, the only thing I have in mind for us is seeing how many times you can make me come tonight.”

Jon cuffed her wrists and offered a token whisper of a kiss before bringing her hands down his sides and wound his fingers with hers.

“I’ll make you come until you don’t think you have anything left. And then I want one more.”

Jon wasn't sure if it was relief that she’d gotten away with changing the subject, or just plain desire that flashed through her eyes. Rachel never uttered a word when she leaned closer to press his leg between hers. Whatever it was he saw in her eyes a second ago, the meaning was crystal clear now.

Their good friend lust had just stepped into the room, intent upon taking over body, mind and soul.

That happened a lot. 

It had happened the previous night too, when Jon had tried to talk with her about all the red flags Richie had waved at him. But then Rachel had slipped her leg between his and it all went downhill from there. The sex was as physical and intense as it always was; Jon had no problem with that. He just wanted to be able to finish his thought before tonight turned into another sweat-drenched, bed-thrashed fuckfest.

The nip he gave her bottom lip was meant to soften his temporary rebuff at her advances. 

“All that can wait. It hasn't escaped my attention you’re adept at changing the subject or distracting me with this lovely body of yours when a subject comes up you’re not comfortable with. It’s been like that from the beginning with us, Rach. I let you get by with it most of the time. Sometimes because I don’t want to fight with you…sometimes because the temptations of your body are more than I care to resist.”

He watched her chest and neck turn red, knowing it only happened when she was completely turned on or completely nervous. Jon had seen her nervous only a time or two, but he was pretty sure the flush wasn't the passionate kind he’d witnessed plenty of times.

“It’s a simple question, Rachel. What do you see happening with us?”

The voice she spoke with was louder; the limbs he still held were stiffer than his when she answered his question.

“I… I ….. don’t even know how you feel about me. How am I supposed to respond to that?”

“I just told you how I feel about you, Rach.”

He could see she was agitated as she stepped back from him and reached for her robe, the movement passively forcing him to release one of her wrists. 

 

“No. You didn't tell me how you feel about ME, Jon. You told me you wanted me to disregard my family traditions for the holidays so you can have everything your way.”

He sensed that she was scrambling to cover herself with the robe, uncomfortable with the conversation and seeking the protection of clothing. 

“Stop.” He didn't vary the soft tone he’d been using for the entire conversation when he took the robe from her and tossed it to the floor. He pulled her still-naked body into his and gingerly locked her within the confines of his arms. “This is just us.  There’s not an inch of your body I've not touched. Talking about what you’re feeling isn't something to make you squirm away or hide from me.”

Instead of comforting or relaxing her, his gentle hold only added to her nervous edge, evidenced by her rolled eyes and huffed breath. 

“ I'm SO not in the mood to fight with you tonight.”

Jon could see his current approach wasn't going to take him where he wanted to go. Rachel wasn't a passive woman and he knew that. He liked her that way. They were a lot alike in many ways. Both were used to being large and in charge but, in their relationship, she had always been the softer of them. Unless you backed her in a corner and trapped her like an animal which, by the look in her eyes, was exactly how she was feeling now. 

“Then don’t……..”

Jon wound his arms around her hips, his fingers lazily roaming the hills and valleys of her curves on a journey of distraction. Each tease of an erogenous zone was meant to tell her she wasn't a hunted animal that had to fight for her life, and that he wasn't interested in stealing her soul – the essence of who she was. Tossing in his puppy-dog eyes with matching boyish grin, he hoped to offset her tension.

“Rach, don’t make me get you drunk enough or turned on enough to tell me what I want to know. I’d rather you make a conscious decision to talk than to have to torture you for information.”

The minute she put her hands on his chest and sighed, he knew it was the right way to steer the conversation.

“That might be preferable….and definitely more comfortable.” Rachel slid her hands up to Jon’s shoulders and let her fingers absently play with the hair behind his ear before kissing up and down his neck. “ I'm not exactly a touchy/feely kind of girl…. I'm not going to spend hours on end talking about my feelings. I like you, you like me, we have hot sex….it works for me.”

The hunter becomes the prey. 

Jon saw her attempts to sway their talk back to the bedroom from a mile away, and he knew at that point Rachel wasn't going to go down the ‘relationship talk’ road willingly. She was good, he’d give her that.  She could negotiate and maneuver better than his own attorneys. It was now up to him to find a way to out-manuever her. He had two choices: He could push her or he could pull her. Pushing was going to end badly, because she would only push back harder and probably louder.  Pulling her, on the other hand…that might get him what he wanted.

It was time to play the “turn you on” card. 

I warned you, sweetheart.

“BULLSHIT,” was hissed into Rachel’s ear when he grasped her ass with one hand and the nape of her neck with the other. He pulled her close enough to feel her nipples pebble from the friction of his chest hair. A nibble here and there along her neck, jaw and chin would short circuit any attempts she had at rational thinking. Jon had learned that little morsel early on in their relationship. The only sound he heard her make was to suck the air through her teeth.

“You reveal yourself when you don’t think about it,” he murmured against her neck. “You just said you didn't know how I felt about you – and then you tried to steer this conversation in another direction. Sometimes I think you pick a fight with me to avoid me.” 

Jon felt Rachel pull her neck away from his tongue and lean her head back. He had wound his body so completely around hers that her head was the only thing she could move. Knowing she needed space, he loosened his hold on her hips just enough to catch her breath and gather herself enough to finally speak.

“You make me feel like I'm on the ledge and you just expect me to step off and have blind faith you’ll catch me before I hit the ground. That’s a lot of trust with nothing guaranteed back to me.”

Progress, baby……. keep talking to me.

Jon let one hand wander softly up her side and across the outside of her breast. The pad of his thumb barely brushed across the nipple, stiffening it even further. Rachel’s fluttered eyelashes and sharply inhaled breath spurred him to delicately bring her earlobe into his mouth before whispering,

“You know exactly how I feel about you.  You've known for a long time, haven’t you, baby?”

Jon felt her body more fully relax and tense…… all at the same time. It was classic Rachel in full-blown sexual mode. Her lower body would become more pliable to his hands while her upper body would become more rigid. Her hands would almost always find their way to the bounty of hair at the back of his head and when she greedily grabbed hold, Jon knew she was beyond controlling her actions. He hoped the same would apply to her thoughts. 

“If I say the words, will it freak you out and make you run?”

His head was pulled down to Rachel’s mouth for a breathy, hungry kiss, "....Never…run from you.”

Jon wasn't sure which was the actual cause of his body responding to her. Was it her writhing and pawing? Or the ego-driven sense of power at being able to manipulate her INTO the writhing and the pawing?

“You’d never run because you love the sex that much, or you love me that much?”

“Mmm hmm…” was her muttered response in between sucking, licking and kissing every part of him that she could get close to.

Christ! She’s tougher to break than I thought.

His barely-there finger between her legs took things up a notch. She wanted more, and Jon refused to give it until he got some answers from her.

“Do you want marriage and the white picket fence…is that what you want?”

Rachel tugged at his hair and moaned, “….Just…this…forever…”

His torture continuing, Jon scraped her clit with the side of this thumb, “This? Or us? What do you want, baby?” 

“Us…...you ..…. just you.”

He rewarded her immediate answer with a greedy finger, slipping easily inside her. “Could you wake up every day with me?”

Jon couldn't see her eyes, they were closed tightly when she threw her head back and hissed, “Mmm…oh God, yes….”

That’s it, sweetheart….keep it up.

“Your perfect life with me…what is it? Paint it for me.”

Jon slipped the second finger into her and pulled forward, rubbing the rough patch inside her that he could count on to send her into another dimension.

“You...me…a family…always,” was her uninhibited reply just after she bit down on his shoulder.

Jon couldn't have been more turned on than he was by the primal response. It was the first time she’d sunk her teeth into him and damn if he didn't like it. Restraining himself enough to finish his interrogation left him short of breath right along with her. 

“Always, baby? You want us for always?”

“…Always.” 

The intense redness of her chest combined with the momentary limpness of her neck was a sure sign she was about to come. Jon had seen that move countless times. It would be quickly followed by a stiffening and a mind-clearing orgasm if he didn't scale things back. He left his fingers inside her, but lessened their movement and put just enough distance between them so that her nipples no longer dug into his chest. 

Jon was turned on. Not like she was…not to the point of blind rambling, but seeing her like this was a first. The only reason he could maintain any control over himself was his determination to bring Rachel to a full awareness and admission of her own feelings.

 

“What else, Rach? Tell me your wildest thoughts. Babies….do you want babies with me?” He heard the words leaping out of his mouth, not knowing where they came from, nearly as lost in the moment as she was.

“Mm, yes…babies….lots of babies….and you….all of it.” 

Jon wasn't sure if he had backed her to the bed, or if she had drug him to the bed – the details were lost on him. 

 

Not that it mattered to either of them when he ran the tip of his dick through her slickness and then across her clit. Rachel had told him once that this particular technique would be more effective with her than water-boarding. It proved to be near-fatal for him. 

He had always loved sex with her, always enjoyed watching her get lost in the act. But he was usually a more equal participant. The restraint he was exercising during this encounter allowed him to see a different part of Rachel that was more captivating than anything he’d seen in her before.  He couldn't take his eyes off her, mentally comparing her to some natural wonder….a falling star, a meteor shower….the Northern Lights. Something exquisite and rare. 

“Lots of babies, huh?”

Rachel was virtually clawing at him when she purred, “Mm…lots of beautiful babies. This…need you ….. inside me”. 

With one thrust, Jon buried himself inside her, causing her to buck up and throw her head back all in one swift movement. Her bare neck thrust itself to his lips and his teeth grazed the side of her throat.

“Like that? Is that what you need, baby?”

“Just….just…like that….right there…”

He wanted to put them both out of their misery; Jon knew she was one thrust away from the full-blown orgasm that would seal the passageway between her thoughts and her voice. He still hadn't heard what he wanted to hear, and with that uppermost in his mind, he slowed. The change in tempo was enough to bring a panting Rachel’s eyes open, their depths pained with longing as they met his.

  

“Can you love me forever…will I be enough?”

Her mouth met his and between kisses she uttered, “You’re always enough…always.”

The desire he felt for her at that moment swept through him with the heat and intensity of a California wildfire.

“Say it baby….I wanna hear you say it.”

His slower pace only seemed to wind Rachel up another notch.  The thrashing of her head side to side was definitive proof that she was fighting to retain control of her mind and her body. 

“Mm….I want on top.”

No way, baby.  You’re right where I want you.  If I don’t break you now, I never will.

"Don’t fight it, Rachel. I swear to God you won’t hit the ground….jump off that ledge.”

Her thrashing was like watching an exorcism. It was almost painful to watch her fight against herself as the last of her barriers wanted to crumble, exposing her heart and soul. Her cries bordered on pitiful.

“Jesus, Rach…let go!”

Jon pulled out of her and immediately slid his body down the bed. Shouldering her thighs wide, he pushed in to wind his tongue around the pearl-sized nub that was his best shot at detonating those barriers. Her thrashing was now taking over her entire body and Jon grabbed her hips with both hands to still her. Gazing intently up the length of her torso, he watched the graceful point of her chin wave through the air with each forceful toss of her head. She was so close - why wouldn't she let go?

“Jump, Goddammit!” 

She had the strength of ten men when she broke through his grip and forced her hips back to his mouth, moaning “Oh god… Mmn…I love you.  I love you like I've never loved anyone else…ever…not ever, Jon.”

When he could feel her return to a more relaxed state, Jon moved slowly up her body, kissing the top of each thigh. He ran his finger across her C-section scar before he moved further up to give each pink nipple a gentle swipe with his tongue. Entering her without fanfare, he noted she was more physically spent than after the most rigorous of workouts. When her eyes fluttered open, she offered a silent smile and gentle kiss as he adjusted his forearms to hover above her.

“Was it really that hard to say the words?  You've shown me for months that you love me. I've felt it, just like I know you've felt it from me.”

She still said nothing; breathing was her only audible sound as Jon kissed her neck and chest.

“You’re one of a kind, Rachel. I’d chase you to the ends of the earth.” Jon smirked against her sternum. “So there’s no point in running….” 

While Rachel widened her eyes and showed an alertness that had been absent, she still didn't utter a word.

A tenderness crept between them as Jon’s fingers eased into the hair at her temples, “I don’t know that I can give you all the things you want or deserve….but I know I’ll love you the rest of my life.  There will never be another woman who fills me the way you do. There never has been.”

Rachel’s fingernails absently tickled through the hair above his ears before she pulled him toward her for a slow, soft kiss. “You love me?” she murmured when the kiss broke.

“I love you. I swear to God I’ll always love you. When I'm a hundred years old, I’ll love you then, too.”

Now comfortable that his soul had been laid bare and she wasn't going to run, it was time to lighten the tone.  Jon knew she’d ’done’ all the seriousness she was capable of in one night. He needed to let her get back into her comfort zone and acclimate to the turn their relationship had just taken.

 

It was time to just fuck.

Rachel’s gasp when he pinned her arms above her head brought forth a carnal grin from him. It was clearly a grin she was familiar with, as her eyes flashed with renewed lust. When he thrust upward inside her, he stilled to let her body find its place around him and asked, “And when you’re a hundred years old, you’ll still want to have wild sex all night long with me, right?”

The lessened intensity of the moment manifested itself in Rachel’s closed eyes, relaxed body, lascivious wiggle and her whispered, “Mmm…I love that you love it as much as I do.” 

Jon felt her smooth leg wind around his, and then she twisted her body, rolling them over so that she was on top. Her fingers linked with his and she stretched up like a sleepy kitten and began to slowly grind against him in a sensual rocking motion. The subtle aging caused by grief that he had noticed earlier in her face seemed to have been replaced with peaceful tranquility. A contented sigh escaped her lips when she bent to kiss the hollow of his neck and he felt her bring her knees along his sides. She ran her tongue across his nipple and abruptly sat up, her face scrunched in worry.

“Jon…now that we've said the “L” word…we don’t actually have to ‘make love’…do we?”

His laughing outburst at her disdain for ‘making love’ was quickly overshadowed by his separation of their hands. He placed them roughly on her hips, forcing her body further down as he bucked upward.

“Gawd no! We’ll fuck as hard when we’re a hundred as we did the first night.”

And that night ended as most others did: sweaty bodies mingled with thrashed sheets and blankets, exhaustion forcing them to sleep wherever they fell. The only difference on this cold November night was the closing hole of Rachel’s heart as Jon whispered, “Aw, Rach…love you so much, baby.” 

Wrapped around the man she’d finally given all of herself to, Rachel drifted into a peaceful sleep.  For the first time since she’d landed in New Jersey, she felt whole.