“Oh wow!”
Hovering in the doorway of the garage, Rachel squealed in delight
at the sleek body of the hot rod classic Jon had just dramatically pulled a
dust sheet from. The polished chrome of the bumper and wing mirrors glinted in
the evening light and the metallic white paint of the twin stripes on the hood
gleamed as if it had just rolled out of a showroom.
“Something else isn’t she?!” Jon grinned proudly as he watched
Rachel step towards his pride and joy, a look of sheer awe lighting up her
eyes. “She’s just back from her summer service so I got the guys to drop her
here.”
His lips twitched into a playful smirk as he pulled open the
passenger door and gestured to the car’s interior.
“Wanna take a ride with me?”
Giggling Rachel nodded enthusiastically and lowered herself into
the comfortable leather seat. It had been years since she’d even thought about
one of these cars, Nick had often dreamed of restoring one and them taking a road trip together but like
a lot of things it had gotten pushed to the side over the years.
With the top down to make the most of the fine weather, they cruised
leisurely around the roads of the local suburbs before heading into town for a
browse around the shops and some of the small galleries before dinner at one of
the many fine restaurants that the Hamptons was so famed for. Over dinner the
conversation fell into an easy, relaxed discussion about their respective
childhoods and teenage years, each of them learning small titbits about the
lives that had made them who they were today. Rachel listened enthralled as Jon
gave her the abbreviated version of life as an 80’s rock star, about the places
they had played in and the experiences of life on the road. While she had
thought her own coming of age years had been plenty wild, they were mild in
comparison to what Jon had lived through.
“Do you miss it? You know….. the parties, the girls…. the frizzy
hair?” She laughed at Jon’s grimace as they sank back in their seats, full up
from sharing the generous portion of cheesecake Rachel hadn’t been able to
resist from ordering.
“I sure don’t miss the craziness of it, that’s for sure! We’ve
learned how to be a little more dignified with our tours these days but yeah,
there are days when I wish I could step back in time, maybe catch up on stuff
that in the hastiness of youth passed me by.”
Shrugging Jon drained the last of the coffee from his cup and
smiled wistfully. “That’s my only regret from back then I guess, I was too
caught up in the whole ‘fame’ machine to actually really enjoy myself.”
Rachel smiled at him, her eyes soft with agreement. “It’s true
what they say huh? Hindsight is a great thing. I doubt there’s a person in the
world tonight that wouldn’t go back and do something differently with their
lives if they were given the chance.”
Jon nodded slowly. “I guess so……….” He wondered briefly what she
was thinking, what regrets she held from her past life. While she was slowly
opening up more to him every day he knew she was still holding back, reluctant
to let him in completely. That was something he intended to work on.
“C’mon, I got something to show you.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
With the radio tuned to a classic rock station, Rachel sighed
happily as the wind from the car’s acceleration whipped her hair around her
head, the roads quiet as the sun began to dip towards the horizon. She couldn’t
stop the smile that seemed to have been permanently etched on her face all
evening, life was just so damn good right now that she hardly dared to think
about it.
Jon eased off on the gas just a little as they turned off the main
road onto a smaller one that traced its way along the coastline. The ocean to
Rachel’s right shimmered in the evening light, the calm waters breaking softly
in a frothy line on the beach below. Her smile broadened when they rolled into
a deserted view point, just high enough off the beach that they had an
undisturbed view of the sun casting its final rays across the darkening sky.
Vibrant pinks and oranges streaked across the horizon painting a picture so
pretty it could have been hanging in one of the galleries they had visited
earlier.
Killing the engine but leaving the soft croon of the radio on, Jon
jumped out of the driver’s seat and offered Rachel a helping hand out of the
low convertible. Fingers interlaced, he led her to the grassy edge of the
nearest sand dune and pulled her gently down to sit beside him. With his arm
around her, he gazed out across the waves and breathed in a satisfying gulp of
ocean air.
“This place just never gets old. You must have spent a good bit of
time like this living by the beach in California huh?”
Rachel shook her head and nestled closer to his warm body. “Not
really, the water was nearly always freezing. We went to Santa Cruz a few times
but most of our beach days were spent in Hawaii.” She glanced up gratefully at
him before admitting; “Up until this weekend it’s been over two years since
I’ve been on any kind of beach so thank you.”
Chuckling Jon squeezed her tight and brushed her forehead with a
kiss. “You’re welcome. So you’re a Hawaii kinda girl then?”
“Mmmhmm…….we used to head there during the holidays. We always
spent Christmas with my family but then we usually escaped somewhere warm for
New Years. Hawaii was the last vacation we took together…….. Actually the last
vacation I was on now that I think about it.”
Jon watched her face carefully as she
spoke, mindful of the fact that he was quite possibly stirring up painful
memories. He could tell she was becoming more comfortable with him every day
but then again their conversations thus far had only skimmed the surface of
what he guessed for Rachel was a very deep whirlpool of emotions.
“Hawaii is a great place for kids,
mine always loved it there.”
“Mine too.” Rachel laughed quietly as
she thought back to the fun times she’d enjoyed there with her family. “They
loved the activity of Waikiki but weren’t too keen on the quieter islands. Nick
and I always wanted to go to Kauai but the kids weren’t having any of it. So we
generally always ended up on Oahu even if we started the trip on another
island. I thought a cruise to all of the islands would be fun but I was always
outvoted ….” She rolled her eyes and giggled. “…..Nick and Tyler were convinced
that the only place they could surf
was the North Shore.”
“You must have spent a lot of time
over there kinda like we do……did…….in St. Barth’s.” He corrected himself
without thinking, sometimes there were days when he forgot his family was now split down the middle.
“Yeah we went every chance we could
get.” Her heart twisted into a small, tight knot as she allowed herself the
briefest indulgence in memories long since buried. Some of the happiest parts
of her whole life had been spent on those idyllic islands. The tiniest of tears
began to burn at the back of her eyes as she recalled the vivid images that
were starting to flash through her brain.
“There used to be this little hot dog
vendor at the beach on Waikiki that we would walk down to….God I can still
smell the chilli……” With her eyes closed, she scrunched up her nose to the sea
air and inhaled an imaginary whiff. “……..those were the best hot dogs I’ve ever
eaten in my life!”
Silent for a moment, Jon watched her
drift away in memories, his own mind brimming with regret at the family
vacations that he so often missed out on. Sure, he still got to take the kids
away but the magic was gone, without Dorothea beside him – well it just wasn’t
the same.
“I’ve been there but never really
spent much time at Waikiki, it was always too crowded which is never a good
idea. We’ve done a couple shows on Oahu in the past but not on vacation as
such.”
Twisting to look up at him, Rachel
frowned slightly as she tried desperately to chase away the ghosts that haunted
her thoughts. Now wasn’t the time to go there, in fact she wasn’t entirely
comfortable with going there ever.
“That’s a pity, I guess I never really appreciated before what a luxury
anonymity must be for you. There’s an awesome restaurant there right on the
water’s edge – you’d love it – really private and secluded.” She nudged him
gently with her elbow and grinned. “Even your
handsome looks wouldn't stand out against the scenery over there – it’s
breathtakingly beautiful!”
Relieved that she seemed to be back in
the present, Jon chuckled and faked a wounded look. “Well that’s just great!
You’re comparing me to scenery now?”
Grinning she shrugged, “Hey I’m not
exactly talking about a barren desert here, take the compliment buddy!” Eyes
twinkling, she offered him a challenge. “Come hike up Diamond Head with me
someday and you’ll see exactly how big a compliment that was!”
Amused Jon let his fingers of his
right hand trail through the soft waves of hair that bounced from behind her
ears. “Well I just might take you up on that someday!”
Satisfied she tipped her head into his
gently massaging fingers, “Anytime! And while we’re up there I can show you
some seriously high end real estate – I get goose bumps even thinking about
some of those Diamond Head properties – did you know they’re some of the most
expensive per square foot in the world?”
Glancing up to see him shaking his
head, Rachel rolled her eyes. “You’re spending way too much time in the Four
Seasons Mr Rockstar! There’s a section called Lanikai that has some of the most
exquisite beach-front properties that you will ever see – now that’s how to spend a vacation in
Hawaii. One of these days I’m gonna rent a place over there for a month or so
and just experience what living there would be like – it’s on my bucket list!”
“You’ve got a bucket list?” Jon raised
his brows enquiringly. “What else is on that list?”
Giggling she tapped one finger to the
side of her nose. “That’s for me to
know! Don’t you have one?”
Jon tilted his head to one side and
stilled his fingers in her hair as he thought for a moment, he couldn’t
honestly think of anything that he would put on a ‘bucket list’ as such. Hell
generally if he wanted something bad enough, he just went out and got it or
made it happen one way or another.
“Nope, I guess I don’t! Although……” He
paused mid-sentence, unsure whether he should tell her the one thing he did
wish he had more of – something Rachel didn’t have the option of.
“Although what? Tell me – there has to
be something!”
He avoided her earnest stare and
instead looked straight out across the darkening ocean resuming his gentle
kneading in her hair. “Nothing……I just wish I could spend more time with my
kids that’s all – it’s………it’s not easy at times.”
His words lingered over the dunes that
surrounded them, Rachel’s voice quiet when she sighed softly.
“I can understand that, kids are
……well they grow up fast don’t they?” After a moment’s pause she seemed to
mentally shake herself out of the dangerous territory Jon was unwittingly
leading her into.
“So! Where’s your
perfect vacation destination?”
“Rach……” Jon sighed, frustration
mounting. “Are you aware that when I try to talk to you about your kids you
always change the subject or at least try to re-direct it?” He looked
concernedly at her as he felt her tense beneath his fingers. “I’m not trying to
dredge up sad memories for you but honey it’s a part of you that I know nothing
about.”
“I could say the same about you!
That’s a part of you I don’t know
anything about either!” She bit her lip before she snapped any further and took
a long breath in. She didn’t blame him for being curious but what was the point
in dredging up the past?
“I’m sorry…….you’re right – but the
truth is I’ve talked more about my family with you than I have anyone. And before you say it I’m not in
denial or anything it’s just that everybody has a different way of coping and I’ve
found that the less people know about my situation, well then the easier it is
on me. It might sound selfish but other than the man who hired me for this job,
nobody here knows my story and that’s by design.”
“But I do know your story…….” Jon gently reminded her as he reached across
the wind the finger of his left hand with hers. “It’s okay to talk to me about
it.”
Smiling up at him, Rachel nodded. “I
know and I’m trying, I really am.”
Jon hesitated for a moment, it was now
or never. Who knew when they’d get back to a conversation like this again?
“Have you ever considered having more
kids? I mean I know you can’t begin to replace the family you lost but………..”
Rachel’s small fingers stilled in his
own for a heartbeat until she shook her head and relaxed back against him once
more.
“No, that was a lifetime ago and there
are some dreams you just can’t put back together even if I wanted to. That was
a different time and a different life, actually it was a different ‘me’. If you
had told me a couple of months ago that I would look twice at another man I
wouldn’t have believed it – but here I am with you….” Gripping his hand a
little firmer, she reached up and kissed him softly on the underside of his
lightly grizzled chin. “…..in the Hamptons…….with all your lady friends wanting
to scratch my eyes out!”
Chortling Jon closed his eyes as he
felt her lips delicately tickle his sensitive skin. “Oh yeah – you looked mighty
intimidated as you cut them off at the knees!”
Continuing to pepper him with small
kisses, Rachel laughed softly. “I did no such thing, I merely let them know as
long as I was around – they wouldn’t be!”
When the sun finally dipped beneath
the horizon and the night sky began to lay claim to the fading light, they
reluctantly headed back to the car for the drive home. The roads were quiet as
Jon let the car cruise smoothly back into the suburbs, Rachel content to watch
the scenery glide past.
Nearing home, Jon’s cell rang out prompting Rachel to reach out to turn the radio down.
“Colette – tell me you have some good
news………..”
Hearing the designer’s name and seeing
a grin spread out across Jon’s lips, Rachel watched with curiosity as Jon
listened intently.
“Yeah, she thought the Hamptons room
was beautiful…….Great! So it’s ready? Excellent – I knew you’d pull it off………..
listen I’d like to do something similar in the penthouse……..yeah exactly…….sometime
in the next couple of weeks will be fine…………sure thing – thanks again Colette,
I appreciate the fast work…..”
Rachel narrowed her eyes at him when
he shut the cell off and glanced over at her triumphantly.
“We got new sheets in Jersey baby!”
Smirking as he turned his attention back to the road ahead he casually added, “I’m getting
the penthouse done too so no more ghosts – anywhere!”
Rolling her eyes, Rachel looked at him
in disbelief. “Jesus Jon! You took me a bit literally when I said you had
ghosts too……..I never intended for you to redecorate three bedrooms for crying
out loud!”
Laughing at her as he swung the car up
to the gates of the beach house, Jon shrugged and reached across to grasp her
hand.
“I know you didn’t but I wanted to.
You were right and I just wanted you to know that I didn’t expect changes to be
made only on your side. There’s gonna be times when it won’t be as easy for me
to meet you in the middle so let me do this for us, okay?”
Puzzled, Rachel looked at him. “What does
that mean?”
The car gently bumped over the gate
grill and up the driveway before Jon parked it casually in front of the porch.
Killing the engine, he pulled off his aviators and twisted in his seat to face
her.
“My schedule is pretty easy right now
but it’s not always like this. Pretty soon the writing for the next album is
gonna get wrapped and then the recording, mixing and everything else starts.
And once all that’s done well…….well
then we’re looking at a pretty long ass tour where I’m not gonna be home for
weeks on end. I need you to be okay with that.”
Rachel considered what he had just
said, her brain whirling. “How long before you have to start travelling again?”
“We’re probably still a year from the
next release so I’ll be home for the next seven or eight months or so but after
that then it’s just one press engagement after the other before the tour kicks
off.”
He anxiously scanned her face for
signs of her reaction, surprised at how fast his own heart was beating. This
was stuff that he had taken for granted with Dorothea, she’d grown up with it
and hadn’t batted an eyelid but then again it had probably cost him his
marriage in the long run. Rachel’s quiet answer was not what he expected.
“So we’re already thinking a year
ahead? Wow………..I guess I hadn’t given any thought to that, I mean we’ve just
kind of been living in the moment and enjoying it……but…..well I do know I’d
miss you…..”
Jon let out the breath he had been subconsciously
holding and grinned. “So you still see me in your life in a year then?” Leaning
in close to hover his lips just in front of her, he smirked. “Good because
honey……trust me…….you will miss me.”
Rachel snorted under her breath at his
confidence. “Yeah I’ll miss you but I’m guessing the one who’s gonna be most
lonesome will be you!”
“Nuhuh! You see I’ll have all those
hot women in the pit to keep me entertained, I might not be able to touch but I
can still look and let me tell you…….” Eyes laughing, Jon flirted with her
lips. “…..they put on quite a show baby.”
“My point exactly!” Flicking her hair
back casually, Rachel smirked at him. “They’ll get you all hot and bothered but
seeing as you’re stuck in this monogamous thing with me…..” Leaning forward
until their noses bumped, she gently nibbled on his top lip before easing her
way out of the passenger seat and grinning down at him.
“…you’re gonna be desperate to get me to come out to you in the furthest, darkest corners of this planet!”
“…you’re gonna be desperate to get me to come out to you in the furthest, darkest corners of this planet!”
With a wink of her wicked sparkling
eyes, she folded her arms and looked on in satisfaction as Jon sat back in the
driver’s seat, a bemused grin playing across his lips. From their earlier
conversation full of pained memories and thoughts to this easy and relaxed
play, he could barely keep up but he knew he couldn't imagine a point in his life where she didn't figure in it. Slipping his aviators back onto his nose, he
pulled the keys from the ignition and smirked up to where she stood waiting.
"Baby, make no mistake – if you
couldn’t get to me, I'd fly anywhere to get to you......."